When Jane finally looked at him and met his gaze, the myriad of emotions in her jeweled eyes stopped the slide ever so slightly. “Because I’ve found myself presently fascinated by the second son of an earl. I can’t leave him until he’s well and truly away from his troll bridge, now can I?” She winked, but there was a sad little tilt to her lips. “He needs to be able to slay dragons before I can trust he’ll be all right alone.”
A rush of feeling filled his chest, and it smacked of pure, unadulterated joy. “I suppose not.” He didn’t mind that she thought he wasn’t able to look after himself, for if he truly thought about it, those words might have rung true.
“Well then.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “This seems a wonderfully quiet spot.”
“Does it?” Finn hadn’t noticed, for he’d been entirely focused on her and the fact that he’d soon lose her before he’d had the chance to appreciate what he’d found. He shook his head to clear all the fanciful notions bobbing around his mind. They’d covered a good area of the park while they’d talked, and his world had plummeted toward darkness. Oak trees lined this section of the path, and with their leaf-laden branches extended, shade covered the area. “Yes, I suppose this will do nicely.” For what, he couldn’t imagine; he’d been knocked off course.
By rote he guided the phaeton to the side of the pathway beneath the trees. The horses were content enough to graze on the lush green grasses. He threw the hand brake and wrapped the reins about that lever. As the hairs on his nape prickled, he used his hands to turn his body toward Jane’s. She watched him, unconcealed excitement in her expression. “So, what question would you ask of me?”
Surely this can’t be the end of this friendship, this…well, how could it be anything more?
“Tell me about your injury,” she said without preamble.
He quirked an eyebrow. “I beg your pardon?”
“I’d like to know about your injury.” Her sweet lips curved with a smile that had him reeling. “Why do you think it makes you lesser than other men?”
Heat crept up his neck and infused his cheeks. He tugged at the knot of his cravat, furthering loosening it. “That is not a conversation for an innocent lady.” Or for any lady gently bred for that matter.
“What makes you assume I’m innocent?” A faint blush stained her cheeks. “Perhaps you should have inquired deeper into my past, Major.”
He gawked. If she’d announced that she was London’s most sought-after courtesan, he wouldn’t feel more surprise than he did now. “Beg pardon?”
She looked at her hands in her lap. “Uh, I have a tendency to throw myself whole-heartedly into the moment, into everything I’m interested in, so I…” Her blush deepened, and it was one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen. When she raised her head and met his gaze, pride and amusement shifted through her eyes. “I had relations with both of my fiancés, as I hinted at during one of our previous meetings. My father doesn’t know, so kindly do not tell Worchester the next time you might meet.”
Dear God.“I… I’m not sure what to think, for I’d honestly forgotten about that part of our conversations in the face of the random patches of feeling returning in my leg. I suppose I also chose to dwell on other happier things you’ve told me.” How was that possible? She’d told him that in confidence with genuine emotion, and he’d been so wrapped up in himself and what he wasn’t that it had slipped right out of his mind. “Forgive me. I’ll do better.”
For her. Because she meant… something.
Jane shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does, and I’m sorry for being selfish.” Disappointment sank like a heavy, cold stone into the pit of his belly.
“I suspect you’ve always been so, at least since you came back from the war. It’s something you can work on.”
“Yes.” He regarded her with a wild sort of feeling that whipped about him. It was much like finding oneself stuck in a fairy story where magic abounded. How did she do it?
“Good.” She inhaled deeply and let the breath out slowly. “Please say you don’t think badly of me for being so scandalous, but I truly did adore those men, and in those moments, it was the most important thing in the world to show them I loved them, to be with them in that way.”
“There’s no need to explain.” Lucky bastards, the both of them.
“Well.” Her gaze fell again to her lap. “It’s wonderous when one is in love, Finn. Or, at least I thought so. Perhaps it always feels that way.” When her chin trembled, his heart did too. Never had he known anyone so honest or who wore her feelings on her sleeve as she did.
Teach me your secret.
“Also please know I don’t give of myself that way lightly. It hasn’t happened since.”
“Stop.” He put a finger beneath her chin and lifted her head until their gazes connected once more. “You don’t owe me an explanation.” Obviously, she was a woman grown who knew her own mind as well as what she wanted…
… And he couldn’t give her any of that even if he might have wished it before she’d told him of the duke’s interest.
“Are you, uh, still one for scandal?” That was the question he’d chosen to ask?
“Not anymore.” She shrugged. “And I only did it twice since my mother died.”
“Oh.” He shoved a hand through his hair, upending the short tresses. “When you were young, I take it?”
“Yes, from a respiratory disease. I was eleven.”