“From the sky?”
“No, for you.” Her chin trembled.
“Don’t you know I’ll catch you?” Why couldn’t see believe that he was serious?
Anne shook her head. “I don’t want you to be the hero in my story. I don’t need rescuing.”
Those words further broke the shards of his heart. “Then let me walk beside you. I’ll go anywhere you wish, even up in the balloon again. Just let me be a part of your tale.”
“That’s too great a risk and a distraction. For the time being, our paths must part.” She held out her right hand, but he ignored it as if it were a venomous snake. “When you’ve had the time to think over my words, you’ll see I’m right.”
The heat of embarrassment swept through him. I’ve made a cake of myself over her. He pushed his spectacles up the bridge of his nose. Would the ache in his heart never fade? It hurt so much not from her rejection but because he loved her so damned much.
It didn’t matter how that emotion had come about.
“Are you, ah, still planning to compete with Mr. Davies in London? He’s already put forth the idea that you’ll bow out after this.”
Why did he remain in this room after she’d given him a mortal wound?
“Yes.” Sadness reflected in her eyes. “Er, I was before my balloon was damaged.” Her crestfallen expression cut through his confusion to lodge amidst the jagged pieces of his heart. “I never thought everything would end like this,” she confessed in a whisper.
“Neither did I.” He touched a hand to his chest over his heart and rubbed the skin as if that would ease the agony. She deserved happiness, and damn his foolish eyes, he would give that to her even if she couldn’t find it with him. “I’ll put up the blunt for a new balloon and basket. Whatever else you’ll need, so you can go against Mr. Davies and rub your success in his face.”
It was as if the sun had risen in her beautiful eyes. “You will? Even after I turned down your proposal?”
“Yes.” Oh God, he could hardly breathe so acute was his grief. “How can I deny you anything?”
“Oh, Benedict.” Anne burst into tears. “You’re a wonderful man, and I…”
“Yes?” Was there hope even now?
“I can’t imagine life without you.” But she dropped her gaze to her bandaged ankle.
“Ah, I see.” Disappointment plowed into his gut, and he nodded. “Rest now. I’ll make arrangements for the London flight. No doubt your parents wish to take you home as soon as they can. There’s much to do, so I don’t know if I’ll see you before your departure.” Unfortunately, his voice broke on the last word. “Fair thee well, Anne. I hope you meet every single one of your dreams.”
What the devil was he to do now?
But his shame wouldn’t stay with only him, for when he reached the corridor outside Anne’s room, both his mother and Anne’s parents waited for him. All wore matching expressions of confusion and sorrow.
He had to explain. “The lady turned down my proposal,” he told the company in a low voice as pain emanated from the hole in his chest where the remains of his heart lay. “However, I’m nothing if not patient. It was something I learned in the military and honed as an actuary.” He felt a bit frazzled around the edges, but he needed to hang onto hope no matter how small. “It’s merely recalculating the risks now that I have more information on what Anne expects.”
“Benedict, perhaps you should let her go,” his mother said as she grabbed his hand.
“No.” He glanced at the Earl of Doverton. “Please give me until September first before the two of you match her with someone else. I’m not giving up.”
With compassion in his expression, the earl nodded. “Good luck, Worthington. I’ve nearly washed my hands of her future.”
“If you do, you’ll miss the best of what she’s yet to show us.” His grin was wobbly at best. “Now, if you’ll excuse me? I know she’d like to see all of you.” He would break soon, and he wished to do that privately. Unfortunately, when he fled to the private family parlor, Augustus paced the Aubusson rug, clearly waiting for him.
His friend took one look at him and then moved to the sideboard and poured out a cut-crystal glass of brandy. “She refused you again.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yes.” With a nod, he took the glass then downed the amber liquid in one gulp. His eyes watered at the burn in his throat. Quickly, he related the gist of the conversation.
“Well, buck up, for Christ’s sake, Worthington.” The authority of a future marquess rang in Augustus’ tones. “Do as the lady requested, especially if you wish to continue loving her.”
“I do. It’s not something I can just turn off due to a temporary setback.”
The other man nodded. “Then find yourself, the man I used to know in the military.”