“Uh, not overly much, I would like to think.” How had his cravat suddenly become too tight? He resisted the urge to tug at the knot. Yet she’d occupied his thoughts from the moment he’d met her.
“Mmm, perhaps.” Briefly, she touched his hand. Heat shot up his arm to his elbow. “What you’ve seen is how I feel. I mourn, and I worry over the fate of my daughter. Once I pass, Hannah will be lost. Both of her parents will have died, and while I trust my brothers with my life, leaving her with them isn’t the same as knowing she would have a father looking after her.”
“I can understand the concern.” When his gaze dropped to her mouth, the budding awareness burgeoned into a wave. What would it feel like if he were to press his lips to hers right now without warning? “How much time do you have left?”
“The doctor told me it could be a week, a month, or perhaps a few months if I’m fortunate and I do nothing of consequence for the remainder.” A tiny waver set up in her voice. “Yet in doing so, I am merely waiting for death instead of living. It is quite distasteful.”
“A conundrum indeed, but I agree. Waiting for death to find you is no sort of life, and what does that teach Hannah?” He shrugged. “It’s never acceptable to call defeat unless every other avenue has been exhausted. You wouldn’t want to quell her spirit before it has a chance to grow. She is not suited to a fearful life.”
Lady Sophia’s eyes widened. “That’s exactly what I think too. And I certainly don’t wish to miss out on time with her or my family during these last days, especially when I feel perfectly fine some days.”
“It does seem counterintuitive.” For long moments, Oliver looked at her. “Do you mean to marry again in the time remaining to you? I assume a woman as vital as yourself might have a craving for companionship during her last days.”
“If the right circumstances and man present themselves.” A knowing light jumped into her eyes. Did she know what he was thinking? “And I do rather adore the married state. Especially when there is love involved.”
“Are you actively searching for that?”
She shrugged. “Is anyone when it happens to them?”
Despite the gravity of the conversation, his heart squeezed. He might have been enamored with her two days ago, but now it was heading into full-blown infatuation. “I suppose not.” Of course, he didn’t have the experience to back up that summation. All he knew right now was that she fascinated him, and he wouldn’t soon tire of spending a string of days in her company.
“At this point, I know love isn’t probably possible, for there is no time, but I do believe I can find a man with whom I get along well with enough that a marriage would be feasible.” When she turned toward him, their knees knocked. Intense heat shot up his leg into his groin. “When one’s existence is sharply limited, one learns how to boil things down into what is the most important.”
“I envy you that. For far too many years, I’ve sat behind my desk and wondered if there was more out there than drafting a new agreement for trade or trying to appease both sides of an argument between countries over trivial things.”
“It’s never too late to discover everything you’re capable of, especially now that you’ve been afforded leisure time.” When she raised a hand and rested her palm against his cheek, his breath stalled. “And you, Mr. Mattingly, are ripe for a woman to pursue you, I think. You are quite adorable in those spectacles, and forgive me, but I’ve wanted to do this from the moment I saw you.” As he watched her with varying degrees of alarm and anticipation, she moved, surged into him, and pressed her lips to his.
Heat and surprise streaked down his spine and shot through his chest to make him gasp, but just as he went to put an arm around her, she pulled away. “I, uh, well that was…” Every thought he had flew out his head, for that tiny kiss had only set fire to his blood.
Dear God, I need more.
“Oh, I beg your pardon.” A pretty blush stained her cheeks as she gained her feet. “Actually, I don’t. I wanted to kiss you, and so I did. After all, there is no time for consequences, and you have quite a kissable mouth, Ambassador.” She waved a hand as confusion filled her eyes. “I should go. There are things to do…”
“Even knowing the future you face? Are those… things truly as important as living your last days on your own terms or for finding one last adventure?” Oliver wanted nothing except to experience her kiss again and apply himself with passion now that the shock of the gesture had worn off.
“I… I… Let me think about it.” Then she fled with her yellow skirts streaming behind her.
Now he was even more intrigued and enamored with her than he’d been before. It might be rather nice to be pursued, if that was her intent. So, what should he do now?