“I’m so sorry about Juliana.”
“Thank you. I miss her every second of the day.” That truth was written all over Adria’s face.
“Chase talked to me about her. He said she’d worked really hard to move on with her life and that she’d been working with you at your shop.”
Adria slowly cut another slice off the cucumber. “We resolved the issues and healed most of the pain from our past. We were always close, but I felt like we were closer than ever right before she died. Close enough that we could finally live our separate lives and have what we wanted for our futures. For me, that’s Almost Homemade and Drake. She had plans to go to art school. She was always doodling in her journal.”
Adria held up her arm and showed off her wrist tattoo. Two hearts nestled up against each other. “One of Juliana’s last drawings. Two hearts filled with love. Connected. When you have love, you can get through anything.” Her eyes glassed over. “I can get through losing Juliana because she loved me. Drake loves me. Chase will get through what he’s dealing with because he loves you and you love him.” She said it as a statement, but Shelby caught the question in her eyes.
“I do. It’s just... things have been complicated between us. We had a baby together before we ever really got to know each other. Then it seemed after all the calls and him talking to Eliza over the baby monitor that I knew more about him than anyone.”
“He shared the pieces of himself he hides from others. That’s how Drake and I connected. We had secrets we didn’t want anyone to know, but it seemed so easy to share them between us.”
“Yes. I’ve told him more about my mom and father than I’ve ever told anyone.”
“It takes a lot of trust to share the broken pieces of yourself with someone. Drake was drowning in his PTSD until he had me to stand beside him while he worked to recover. Chase has you. And I know how hard it is to stand by and watch the man you love struggle.”
“I try to give him what he needs.”
“You’re probably the only one he listens to, the only one who can push him to keep fighting. And he will, because he wants to be better for you. And that sweet little girl of yours.”
Eliza was in her room, taking the nap she missed because Shelby picked her up from daycare early today.
Adria touched her arm. “It can be hard to know thathis recovery is in part linked to your love and support. Just know that when things get tough, and they do sometimes, that it’s not your fault. Drake and Chase have to choose every day to live in the here and now and not get lost in the past.”
“Is Drake better now?”
Adria smiled. “Every day he’s a little bit better. I’ve seen him at his worst. I’ve been there when he couldn’t see me, but a living nightmare. It scared me.”
“Chase has lost touch with reality.”
“It’s got to be scary as hell to wake up and know you’ve lost time and you have no idea what’s happened. I remind Drake that he’s safe. I’m here. The war is over. It didn’t always work. Now it does.”
“Chase isn’t quite there yet.”
“He’ll get there.”
Shelby appreciated so much the absolute certainty Adria put into those words.
“Remmy will help,” Adria went on. “The less Chase gets pulled back into the past, the better and more grounded he’ll feel. I’ve seen it with Drake. Working with Dr. Porter will be the biggest help.”
“I made that one of the conditions of his having access to Eliza. I hated to put stipulations on it, but—”
“He left you no choice.” Adria gave her an understanding nod. “Sometimes you have to kick some ass to get them to do what’s good for them.”
“So that’s it. You take care of Drake and because of it, he’s worked to get better.”
Adria nodded, but added, “He takes care of me, too.” She studied Shelby for a moment. “You should let Chase take care of you. It will help him to know that you relyon him, too. The more purpose he has, the more he’ll feel like the man he wants to be.”
“Chase is wonderful with Eliza. He’s so good with her.”
“That’s not what I said. You deserve to have someone on your side and by your side who will hold you up when your world gets too heavy to carry on your own. Believe me, I know what it feels like when you only have yourself to rely on. Then Drake came into my life, and I opened myself up and really let him in. It made a difference for me and for him.”
“Chase and I... we’ve got this insane connection. I swear I can feel him. Read him. He does the same with me. He senses when something is off. He knows just how to push when I hesitate or hold back. I’ve never been bold. I’ve never put myself out there for anyone but him. It’s only ever been him,” she ended on a whisper.
Adria’s hand settled on her arm. “If you two are anything like me and Drake, destined to be together, then I can tell you, when you’ve been through the worst, it only gets better.”
Shelby thought the worst had been watching Chase destroy himself with the pills and the regrets and guilt about his past. She’d spent every day since he came home watching him grieve for Juliana and blame himself for her death.