Drake stood and stared him down. “Do you think you don’t need him or that you don’t deserve him?”
Chase took a step back, not knowing how to answer.
Drake didn’t relent. “You’ve been struggling for a long time. I’m sure there are days you don’t know which way is up. The nightmares steal your sleep. The anxiety makes it impossible to do anything productive during the day. The guilt keeps you from enjoying anything in your life. And the flashbacks make you act out and feel like you’re crazy. We’ve only been here for a few minutes, yet you’ve checked the tree line three times to be sure we aren’t about to be ambushed.”
Busted.
He couldn’t help it.
It was part of his training and the hypervigilance he’d lived with overseas but didn’t need here at home. Still, he couldn’t seem to shut it off.
The Lab walked over and nudged his nose against Chase’s clenched fist.
“He’s already feeling your anxiety and trying to get you to relax,” Drake pointed out. “Look, I didn’t want a dog when Jamie foisted a puppy on me. I wanted to be left alone. I felt like I was a menace to everyone and everything around me, and I was better off pushing them all away instead of lashing out at them because I couldn’t control my emotions. Believe it or not, the dog helped. Sunny shifted my focus away from the unrelenting thoughts and voice in my head. You need this, Chase. You deserve to live your life free of the past. I’m not saying Remmy will erase everything, but he can help keep you from sinking into that deep dark pit you spent two months in rehab pulling yourself out of. Shelby told me how you get lost in the nightmares, and they overlap with Juliana’s death.”
“I’m dealing with it.”
“Bullshit.” Of course, Drake was right.
Chase thought of the marks he’d left on Shelby. How afraid he was that he’d wake up in some other nightmare and hurt her.
Drake squatted next to Sunny again and rubbed his hand over the dog’s soft coat. “Living through it, and with it, isn’t the same as living. If you work on it, there will come a day when you don’t think of the past at all.That day will turn into another. And one day you’ll wake up and realize you haven’t thought of it in a week, a month, a year.”
Chase couldn’t even fathom that ever happening.
“Believe me, I didn’t think it was possible either. But it is. And you deserve to have a happy life.” Drake stood before him again. “With your meds, therapy, and Remmy all put together, you can live a normal life.”
Remmy sat and leaned his whole body against Chase’s leg. The steady pressure and his sweet face did make Chase start to relax.
“He likes you. And what do you have to lose? If nothing else, your little girl is going to love him.” Drake smiled and stared past him.
“Doggy!” Eliza yelled from the porch.
Shelby caught her hand before she tumbled down the steps in her rush to get to the dog.
Chase was surprised that Remmy didn’t run to greet Eliza. He stayed right by Chase’s side.
“He’s trained to remain next to his person until the anxiety fades. You’re still tense and unsure about keeping him. He knows you need him.” Drake gave Sunny a hand signal, and Sunny walked over to Eliza. “Your girlfriend invited us to stay for dinner. You and I will spend some time working with the dogs so you know how to keep Remmy working for you. I’ve got his service animal vest in the truck. Use it. Use him.”
“I don’t want a big banner following me around that says I’m broken.”
“It’s not forever, Chase, just until you’ve got yourself under control. What’s worse, letting people see a wounded service vet or losing your shit in front of them and possibly hurting yourself or someone else?”
Good point.
Still.
Chase relented because if Remmy helped him heal and not get lost in the past and his nightmares, he’d do it, because Shelby and Eliza were worth it.
And he needed his sanity back for good.
Chase slipped his arm around Shelby when she and Adria joined them. “Looks like we have a new dog. This is Remmy.” Chase patted the sweet boy on the head.
Shelby crouched low. “Hello, Remmy.”
The dog licked her cheek.
“That’s a good boy,” Shelby praised him, then stood next to Chase again. “Eliza is going to love having him around.” She glanced at Drake. “Is it okay for her to play with him? Will that distract him from helping Chase?”