“Dada,” Eliza said, her little voice insistent.
Shelby stepped between him and Eliza.
He stared down at her, a question in his eyes.
“If tonight’s not good for you, and you need time to be alone, and—”
Chase took her by the shoulders and pulled her into a kiss, cutting off her words. His mouth was warm and soft and oh so tempting. “No. The last thing I want is to be alone. Stay.” She heard the plea in that one word and in his eyes.
She put her hand to his scruffy jaw and nodded.
His tense body relaxed, and relief filled his eyes.
“Eliza insists you read her books. I’ll go clean up the kitchen and meet you in the living room when you’redone.” She went to Eliza and kissed her good-night. “Be a good girl and go right to sleep after books. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, Mama.”
Chase brushed his hand down her arm before she left them alone. At the door, she turned back and smiled at Chase sitting on the bed beside Eliza, her hand on his arm, and her adoring eyes staring up at him as he started reading her a story.
Chase glanced her way.
“Sweet,” she said, and left Eliza to enjoy having her dad home and in her life, ending a great day with him with a story and the kiss she knew Chase would plant on his little girl’s head before he settled her in bed.
Shelby hoped her night would end with a kiss—and a lot more—in his bed tonight.
Chapter Eighteen
Chase stared down at his sleeping little girl. For the second night in a row, she was tucked into her bed in his house. She looked so peaceful. He thought back on their day. It started out so well. Everything had been fine until Max knocked over a tool. He’d heard the crack of it hitting the cement floor, and he was right back in the thick of things overseas.
Rationally, he didn’t understand how his mind could make him see and believe he was somewhere else. But he wholeheartedly felt and saw the past as if he was right there. As if it could actually touch him.
He wished he still had the innocence and peace of youth that Eliza enjoyed without knowing how precious it was. He’d seen too much. He’d done a lot worse. And it left a mark on his mind and heart.
It made it difficult to see a day when he’d ever sleep so carefree as his little girl.
Would he ever be the person he used to be?
He refocused his thoughts on the happier parts of the day. He’d hold on to the memory of Eliza’s bright smile and excited joyful gasp when she stood beside a horse for the first time, and the squeal she let out when she got to pet the mare. He’d remember the way she felt sittingtucked up against his chest as they rode in a circle in the paddock, her whole body vibrating with excitement. She’d wanted more, but for safety’s sake, he’d handed her off to her grandpa while he and Max rode out to look over the herd.
She’d had complete faith and trust in him to keep her safe because he was her dad.
He didn’t want to let her down ever again.
Which meant that even though he’d had a shit day, he’d keep trying and working toward the new normal that had seemed so elusive and out of reach until Shelby opened her heart and made the future look so much brighter.
He left the door to Eliza’s room cracked so the bathroom light seeped in just in case she woke up during the night. He still needed to put the finishing touches on her room and get her a night-light, books, and toys for her to have here.
His goal, though he hadn’t said it out loud, was to ask Shelby to move in with him.
In his mind, they were already permanently here. He’d try to be patient and not push too hard to make it their reality before Shelby was ready for that kind of commitment. He might be struggling with his past, but he knew exactly what he wanted for his future. Her.
And he didn’t want to mess things up by pushing her to move in before she was ready.
He found her in the dark living room, backlit by the lights in the kitchen, staring out the window. He walked up behind her, slipped his hand around her waist and planted it on her stomach as he leaned in, pushed her hair back with his chin, and kissed her neck. “You look a million miles away.”