“You say pretty much the same thing to me every time we see each other.”
Cyn held her gaze, hers intent and direct as always. “Because it’s true. And I hate to see someone as nice as you spend her whole life alone.”
“I have Eliza.”
“Yeah. That’s not the same as having someone in your head, heart, and bed, messing things up and making them all right.” Cyn had a point. “What’s going on with your Wilde man?” Cyn gave her a wicked grin. “I heard he’s back in town. Rumor has it his daddy had a changeof heart and is bringing him back on at the ranch.” Small towns. Everyone knows everything.
“He’s there right now with Eliza, helping Max.” She hoped everything had gone well today. She tried not to worry, but...
“Max is the youngest, right?”
Cyn had only moved to town about ten years ago. Probably why she didn’t care about the gossip about Shelby’s past.
“Yeah. Chase is the oldest. Hunt’s in the middle.”
“The cop, right? Feels like he’s in the middle of a lot of what goes on in this town. But does he do anything about the scum who are getting away with shit? No.”
Well, there had to be a story there.
Shelby wondered what scum had Cyn so fired up.
She picked up Cyn’s ankle and raised her leg so she could check her range of motion and any discomfort Cyn might still be experiencing. “How does this feel?”
“Not bad.” Cyn winced, and Shelby backed off. “I hate cops,” she blurted out, narrowing her eyes.
Shelby imagined Cyn’s excitement for life and fun had landed her in trouble a time or two. Cyn thought laws were mere suggestions when it came to things like speeding down back roads. She complained about her many speeding tickets every time she cut Shelby’s hair. But Shelby never had the courage to ask about the indecent exposure charge. Apparently Cyn had been caught skinny dipping with an equally drunk cowboy in the Thompsons’ pond. Mrs. Thompson took exception when she caught her teenage son watching the couple cavorting in the shallow water and called the cops.
Shelby silently admitted to her jealousy. She wished she could be more outgoing like Cyn and not care whatanyone thought. She wished she could take the initiative with Chase, throw caution to the wind, and take what she wanted. Because she really wanted him.
“You’re blushing. Please tell me that’s because you’re thinking about that sexy Wilde man of yours.”
Shelby wanted to disagree that Chase was hers, but closed her mouth on the denial. He’d made it clear this time around that he wanted her. Not only that, but he wanted them to be a family. “Chase and I are... getting to know each other better.” It seemed like they’d known each other for a long time. Shelby let her insecurities get in the way of them having a more intimate relationship.
She had a hard time believing he really wanted her.
Until last night, when that nightmare had him wrapping his arms around her and holding on like she’d anchored him to safety in a storm. And he’d fallen right back to sleep. Deep and peaceful, he’d finally rested. She’d given him that and shown herself that she did have something to offer him. Her heart. Her desire to hold him and make everything all right. She wanted to be the one he turned to when things got tough. And in the night, he had come to her, looking for comfort.
She wanted to give him so much more.
“Sounds like you’re both still holding back, letting your fear of getting hurt keep you from having what you really want.”
“It’s not easy to believehewantsme.”
One of Cyn’s perfectly sculpted eyebrows went up. “Why not?”
Shelby didn’t know how to explain years of feeling like no one wanted her and how that made her feel like she didn’t deserve it. She didn’t want to believe that, but it had been ingrained in her from a very young age.
That’s why she worked so hard to make sure Eliza always felt loved, and that no matter what, she was enough.
Because Shelby had never been enough for anyone.
Cyn touched her arm. “Maybe you should look at it a different way. You’re kind and caring and you have a good heart. In my book, that’s more important than anything. Your heart drives you. It tells you what the right thing to do is, and you follow it even when it’s hard. So ask yourself, does he have that kind of heart? Does he deserve someone like you? Will giving him your heart mean he’ll protect it? Maybe it won’t always be easy, but will you be happy with him?”
Yes.
The answer came without her even thinking about it. Her heart warmed just thinking about the life she and Chase could have together.
Cyn took her hand, reading her. “Stop stalling. Stop putting off your happiness. Stop denying yourself what you want. Time is precious. Time is short. Stop wasting it thinking and start really living.”