He stood, keeping her close, and gave her a second to change her mind or back out before he kissed her. She met him halfway, going up on tiptoe to wrap her arms around his neck and draw him to her. He went anxiously and settled his lips over hers. And just like that, passion flared as it did the first time he kissed her. This time, he didn’t want to stop. He didn’t want it to end.
But Eliza had other plans. “Dada. Dada. Hug ’Liza. Me, too,” Eliza squealed from her high chair behind him.
Shelby broke the kiss and stared at him wide-eyed and a little dazed. “She wants you.”
“She’s not the only one.” He wanted Shelby to know he felt how much she wanted him, too. “But I guess her mom has to wait, and so do I.”
“I think this time, we should slow down and get to know each other better.”
“I’m hoping we can do both.”
“Dada! Dada, up. Up.” Eliza held her hands out to him.
He reluctantly released Shelby, took the table off the high chair, unbuckled his girl, and picked her up. She wrapped her little arms around his neck and pressed her sticky face into his cheek. “I think we both need a bath now.” His shirt needed to go into the laundry. The front had been smeared with sauce, and now she had her sauce-covered hands on his back.
Shelby smiled at them. “She looks so much like you.”
“I see you when I look at her.”
Eliza gave him a wet openmouthed kiss on the cheek. “Dada.”
Shelby grinned. “She’s happy you’re here.”
“And you?”
“And me,” she assured him. “Do you have time to stay and do her bath and books?”
“Absolutely. I want to spend as much time as I can with both of you.”
Concern filled her eyes again. “You also need to get some sleep.”
“I will. I feel better that you and I are on the same page now.”
“I’m still trying to wrap my mind around... this.”
“Us,” he clarified. “I know you’re worried about me. I am, too. My head... it’s mostly a mess again because of... what happened.” He didn’t want to talk about all the details. He didn’t want to think about how he’d failed Juliana, or how Adria must blame him for not getting to her fast enough or being there to stop that asshole from drugging her sister in the first place. Everyone told him he did what he could, he’d tried, but it felt like one more failure. One more life gone he wished he’d saved.
“You need to talk about it.”
He shook his head. “Right now, I need you and Eliza. You’re my priority. You’re my future.”
“Chase, you can’t ignore everything that’s happened to you.”
“I’m not. I’ve got my call with my shrink tomorrow.” Not that he really wanted to talk about any of it anymore. But he’d learned in rehab that holding it all in made things worse.
He just wanted everything in his life to go back to normal, although realistically he didn’t know what that looked like anymore.
He’d only been home a couple days, he reminded himself. Still, he knew he was off, and Shelby was seeing that in him.
“Come on, baby. It’s nearly your bedtime.” Chase took Eliza to her room, feeling Shelby’s gaze on him as he left. He didn’t like worrying her. But he loved that she cared about him. And wanted him. And that was a good place to start.
Chapter Ten
Several days later, Shelby answered the knock on the door, excited Chase had changed his mind about coming over tonight. They’d had dinner together three times already, but he’d said he had a lot to do, including putting together Eliza’s bed and decorating her room. She offered to help, but he said he wanted to do it on his own and surprise them. She loved that he was taking such an interest and initiative, but as each day passed, her worry about him grew. He didn’t look like he was getting enough sleep. She caught him lost in thought more often than not. But what disturbed her most was the look of sadness and desolation she sometimes saw in his eyes.
He tried to hide it. He brushed it aside with assurances that he was okay.
When she asked how his session went with his psychiatrist, he clammed up. She wasn’t even sure he kept the appointments, or how the sessions went if he did.