Chapter 18
Luna
Walking out of the community center after the meeting, Luna was filled with a sense of contentment and rightness that she hadn’t thought was possible. When other people talked about everything falling into place in their lives, or even the feeling of fitting in and knowing they were on the right path, it wasn’t something she could relate to.
Everything she’d done, all she’d worked for—it had been because it’s what she thought she was supposed to want.
After all, if you were from a tiny little town like this, weren’t you supposed to want to make it in the big city? If you had always been boosted by the support of friends and family, weren’t you supposed to want to spread your wings and fly on your own?
She glanced over at Connor walking beside her and her heart squeezed inside her chest as she considered the last question.
If you had a high school relationship, weren’t you supposed to want to sow your wild oats and find out what else was out there for you in the world?
Well, there was one problem with all of those things she was supposed to want. They were bullshit. Or at least they were for her.
They were all based on how she’d interpreted her grandmother’s admonitions about independence. And now, come to find out…she’d interpreted them wrong!
Now that she was seeing things clearly, she knew that didn’t want any of those things. She didn’t want the big city. She didn’t want to be independent from her friends and family. And fuck wild oats, they’d only ever brought her chaos and heartache.
Connor squeezed her hand. “Need a ride?”
She nodded. She didn’t, really. Everything was so close here. She’d walked over, it was less than a mile. But she wanted to be in the car with him.
It didn’t matter that she’d been with him all day, and now all evening at the meeting. She wanted to be with him all night, too.
Gee. Ya think that might be your heart trying to tell you something?
Her inner voice wasn’t always the most compassionate. In fact, sometimes it was a downright bitch. But she didn’t mind. Sometimes she needed a good kick in the ass, and her inner voice was just the right bitch to deliver it.
Connor held the door open for her, supported her elbow as she climbed into the truck. Electricity shot through her body, just like it did every time she felt Connor’s strong hands supporting her, or his strong arms holding her.
Shut it, inner voice! I already know that’s a sign!
Wow. So now she and her inner voice were having actual conversations. That was probably another kind of sign. The not-so-great kind.
Connor climbed into the driver’s seat and pulled the car out of the parking lot.
The radio came on when the engine started, and the song that filled the car was Wham’s “Last Christmas.”
Luna’s stomach clenched. The lyrics described a relationship where the man had given the woman his heart and she discarded it, causing a lot of pain in the process. Now the two were seeing each other again, at Christmastime, and suffice it to say, the feelings were flying.
Wow. So, yeah. Kind of on the nose.
She turned to Connor. “Do you feel like taking a drive?”
He smiled. “Always.”
Connor navigated the car aimlessly through neighborhoods, and they commented on the Christmas lights on each house as they listened to the Christmas songs being played on KVAL– everything from Nat King Cole’s traditional rendition of “The Christmas Song” to “Little Saint Nick” by the Beach Boys and Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You.”
Finally, Connor pointed the car down a much less-traveled road that headed up into the mountains a ways and then pulled off onto an overlook.
And not just any overlook. Their overlook. It had been their special place to park when they were going out. Which wasn’t saying a lot, actually, since it had been half of the senior class’s special place to park…but, still. It had sentimental meaning.
Connor turned off the engine and suddenly, the inside of the car was engulfed in silence. It was shocking after she’d gotten used to the rumbling engine noise, combined with the poppy holiday music.
Now, there were no distractions. All that hit her ears was the sound of Connor’s breathing and her own blood rushing through her veins.
Tingles spread outward from her pounding heart. They were so isolated in the car together, like the only two creatures on earth, encased in a little pod of metal and glass.