“Shit. I wonder what it’s like when you are trying to force me talk about something I’m not ready to.”
“We’re just worried as hell about you, man.”
“No need.”
“Yeah,” Donovan chimed in, “I don’t know how much experience you have with protecting people who are in danger, but that used to be pretty much my whole gig. And, let me tell you– they’re not the best judge of how much trouble they’re in. Pretty much everyone I ever protected was convinced that the danger was all in someone else’s head.”
Gavin smirked. “Even the president?”
Donovan returned the smirk. “I said almost.”
Troy pushed on. Gavin had known he would, he wasn’t easily sidetracked.
“And think about my situation when Mom and Dad died. I gave up everything– my home, my career…my life, essentially– to come back home and raise Mila. I went from ‘big city bachelor baseball player’ to what amounted to ‘small-town single dad’ in one weekend.”
“That sounds like a speech you’ve been rehearsing in your head for quite a while.”
Shit. That was way too harsh.
“I’m not trying to be an asshole, Gav,” Troy said, and even though his voice was even, there was definitely hurt underneath.
Gavin sighed. “I know. Apparently I can be one without even trying. Sorry. That was below the belt.”
Troy acknowledged this with a small nod. He continued, “My only point by bringing that up is that it wasn’t easy. I wasn’t prepared. And I love Mila so much. I was determined to do right by her, but I had no experience. I didn’t even know what that looked like. I was fucking terrified, every single day.”
This was a surprise. Troy always seemed like he had it all together, he always had. “How long until that went away?”
Troy laughed, a short and brittle explosion from his throat. “I’ll let you know when it does. But you know what got me through it? What still gets me through it?”
“The knowledge of how you’re clearly the best Valentine brother and you can lord it over us at every opportunity.”
“Obviously. That’s a given. But what I was going to say was: the support of the people that love me, and love Mila. Family. Friends. It’s more important than you realize.”
Gavin sighed. He wasn’t one to admit defeat, but it was clear his brothers were not planning to let this go until he at least pretended that they’d gotten through to him.
“Fine. I give up, I’m listening. What’s your point?”
“Just this– if you need somebody to talk to, we’re not bad choices. In fact, we’re probably pretty damn good ones.”
“Noted.”
“But, even more important– if you’re not talking to us, you need to be talking to somebody. Because you’re not in a good place, buddy. That’s the only reason I’m on your ass so much. You keep saying you’re fine. But you’re clearly not.”
Gavin didn’t respond. There was no use in arguing with his brothers about it. They’d shown time and time again that they were stubborn and, especially on this point, they weren’t going to back off.
Besides, Gavin admitted to himself reluctantly, they’re not exactly wrong.