Chapter Thirty-Three
Ella turned slowly back and forth in front of the full-length mirror. She wasn’t one to get caught up in appearances as a general rule, but tonight was different. Special. It was the alumni reunion, and it felt sort of like a makeshift prom for grown-ups.
Not only that, but Donovan was on his way over to pick her up, and it had been years since he’d seen her dressed up all fancy. Not since…well, their actual prom. So, again. Kind of a big deal.
“You look gorg, babe,” Genevieve assured her from across the room, where she sat at Ella’s vanity putting the finishing touches on her makeup. “Pretty Boy Valentine ain’t gonna know what hit him. He’s gonna have to get used to not being the fairest one of all.”
Ella laughed. “Oh, stop, Gen. You’re just being nice.”
Genevieve crossed her eyes comically and stuck out her tongue. “Please, dude. If we both know there’s one thing I’m not, it’s nice just for the sake of being nice. If you were hideous, I would tell you.”
That was true enough. Ella looked at herself in the mirror again and tried to see herself through Gen’s eyes, then tried to imagine what she’d look like through Donovan’s. God, she never felt as beautiful as when he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. She loved that feeling. That’s why she wanted to work so hard to inspire it tonight.
“Do you think it’s strange that I’m so nervous? I mean, this isn’t the actual prom. We aren’t teenagers anymore, even though that’s kind of what I feel like when I’m around him. Why does it feel so important?”
Gen abandoned her makeup brushes and turned around to focus her full attention on Ella. It felt like a significant moment, so Ella crossed the room to sit on the edge of the bed facing her. Gen took her hands and looked at her earnestly, full in the face. She took a deep breath. “I feel like there’s something really important that we need to acknowledge here. Something that’s gone unspoken, but it needs to be said.”
Ella nodded. Gen never got serious, she couldn’t imagine what this might be about. “Okay. Can we just take a moment and talk about what a goddamn superhero I am for just letting you naturally transition into talking like it’s an understood thing that you have feelings for Donovan without rubbing your face in the fact that you’ve been denying it for about twenty years? Because I really feel like I deserve some credit for that.”
Ella barked out a short, embarrassed laugh. “Yeah, fine, whatever. I guess I’ll give you credit for that. It’s not as if you didn’t know. You already rubbed my nose in it at every opportunity. I don’t see why now is so different.”
Genevieve grinned widely. “Because, my love. It was so much fun to tweak you precisely because it was so obvious, and yet you insisted on denying it. Now that you’re being real, I’m not going to tease you for that. I’m not a freaking monster!”
Ella nodded. It made a weird sort of sense. “Well, that’s surprisingly restrained and sensitive of you, Gen.”
“I have my moments. Now, let’s get real. Tell me what’s up with you two. Seriously. Is he leaving…staying…shitting…getting off the pot? What’s the story?”
Ella shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. Leaving, as far as I know. I have no reason to think otherwise. Just reason to wish.”
“So, when is he outta here?”
“As soon as this ‘security clearance meets secret marriage’ business is done with.”
“And your feelings on that matter?”
“Yeah…not sure. Changes by the minute. All of the various feelings bouncing around inside me definitely exist on a firmly bounded scale, though. They all fall somewhere between ‘numb’ and ‘devastated.’ So, there’s that. But it’s balanced by the millions of feelings that bombard me every time I see him, which are all in the ‘somewhere between thrilled and ecstatic’ range.”
“So…you’re basically just a big ol’ mess, huh?”
“Basically.”
“I mean, that’s kind of to be expected.”
“That’s what I’ve been telling myself.”
“And even if the worst happens and he bounces without so much as a glance behind him, you’ll have me around to help you pick up the pieces. Not to mention your mom and all the other people that love you.”
“I know. It won’t be the end of the world. It’ll just feel like it.”
“Exactly.”
“That’s why I’m trying not to think about it as long as he’s here. There’s nothing I can do about the future, so no reason to ruin the present worrying about it.”
“Sounds like a good plan. How’s it working out?”
“Surprisingly well.”
Gen smiled and pulled Ella to her in a hug. “Good deal, hon. I’m glad.”