Chapter 18
The tips of Eliza’s fingers burned from the friction of her rubbing her thumb over them, as she waited for her turn to walk down the aisle. They were so hot it felt like she could start a fire with them, like she had in Girl Scouts with kindling. She couldn’t stop. She’d officially entered into basket-case territory.
She’d tried every trick in the book to calm her racing heart and jittery insides. Meditation. Deep breathing. Refocusing her senses. Distractions. Even shaking out her arms and limbs so much that she looked like one of those inflatable tube men at car dealerships.
Nothing had worked.
After Jess had finished her makeup and hair this afternoon, she’d still had several hours before the ceremony began. All that free time with nothing to do but wait had not helped to alleviate her anxiety. It had amplified it…considerably.
But the moment that she’d been anxiously awaiting was almost upon her. In just a few minutes she’d see Nate again for the first time since he’d taken her body to levels of pleasure she hadn’t known existed. And at some point tonight they would have to address the night before.
There were a few ways the interaction could go and she’d tried to prepare herself for all of them. Her fingers, toes, legs, and arms were crossed, figuratively speaking, that he would smile and give her a look that said last night was just the beginning.
There was also a strong possibility that he would tell her that he cared about her but not in that way, and he just wanted to be friends. She hoped in that case that he would let her down easy, maybe say he didn’t want to be a rebound or that it was too weird since she used to date his brother.
Still, he could go another way. He could just ignore the fact that they’d gotten busy in the coat closet completely. There was precedent to suggest he would do just that. That had kind of become his MO since she’d returned.
It was odd, Doug had been overbearing. He’d wanted to know where she was, what she was doing, and who she was with at all times. He’d even put a tracker on her car and used the “Find My Phone” to locate her phone to make sure she was where she’d said she was. He never trusted her. Which was ironic considering what she’d walked in on him doing. She always felt like he was watching her. At first, she’d thought it was because he cared, but now she realized it was because he was controlling and most likely projecting what he was doing onto her.
And the truth was, even though he always kept tabs on her, she never felt safe because of it. She never felt like if she really needed him, he’d come take care of her.
Nate was the opposite. Since she’d been back in town, he’d barely acknowledged her existence. Before last night, that is. He’d basically only interacted with her when he’d been forced to and yet, she’d never felt safer. Just him being back in her life gave her this internal security. She knew, just knew, that if she needed him, needed anything, he’d be there and he’d take care of it. It wasn’t even a question.
Another bridesmaid turned the corner and began her walk and Eliza took one step forward. Three bridesmaids down, three more to go before it was her turn. Her heart rate kicked up from fast to turbo speed.
She had no idea what she was going to see in Nate’s eyes when she turned the corner to the courtyard and saw him. In her mind, everything hinged on the look in his eyes the instant he saw her. If she saw regret in them, then she’d know that last night hadn’t meant to him what it had meant to her. But if she saw anything else—she wasn’t picky—it could be happiness, excitement, even uncertainty, she could work with that.
Their situation was unique. Between only ever being friends and her past history with his brother, his twin brother, nothing was black and white. There was a lot of gray area.
Another bridesmaid disappeared around the corner. She moved up another step and she noticed her breathing was becoming shallow pants as the line of women in coral dresses got shorter.
Behind her, Katie whispered to Bailey that she hoped she didn’t trip. If Eliza made it to her designated spot without passing out or throwing up she’d consider it a victory. Tripping she could recover from. Vomit and unconsciousness…not so much.
Amber gracefully turned the corner like she’d walked runways in Milan and Eliza was on deck. She kept her eyes on Aunt Wendy who would be motioning for her to go. Eliza had to give it to the woman, just like Jess, Wendy had a style all her own and embraced it. She didn’t let her age or her tall, five-foot-nine frame stop her from wearing bold, bright patterns and dying her hair in fun and experimental ways.
Today she was wearing a lime green skirt paired with a fuchsia top that was patterned with small sunflowers. Her shoulder length hair was died platinum blonde with a streak of purple in it. And her fingernails and high heels were matching bright yellow. It shouldn’t have worked, but on Wendy it did.
Those yellow nails waved for Eliza to step forward. She took a deep breath and forced herself to put one foot in front of the other. She’d planned to lock eyes immediately on her target. Nate. But when she turned the corner to the courtyard, she lost her nerve.
What if she did see regret when she looked into his eyes?
Did she really want to stand in front of a crowd of people, even if none of them were looking at her, with that weighing on her?
No. No, she did not. So instead of looking his way, she made a conscious effort not to. Instead she took in the space—that was truly majestic—and the people that had gathered to share Becca and Brian’s day.
The first thing that hit her was that the energy in the air was magical. That was the only way to describe it. Was it because the bride and groom’s story was so sweet and everyone here loved them so much and were so happy for them? Or was it the setting? Getting married at a castle did add a fairytale element to the occasion. Whatever it was, it felt like fairy dust had been sprinkled over the entire event.
The second thing that drew her attention was that over half of the bridal party was wearing sunglasses and she’d forgotten to stop by her room and grab hers. She’d been so preoccupied worrying about seeing Nate again, it had completely slipped her mind.
The next thing she noticed was that the contestant that Becca had been paired with in Fairytale Love was here. Colton McCord had become somewhat of a reality show darling, or whatever the male term for that was, since his stint on the show. And Eliza wasn’t surprised. Colton had been her favorite, outside of Becca and Brian of course. He’d done several more shows since then, some dating and some adventure style, and Eliza had watched them all. Besides movies, reality shows were her go-to entertainment. He was sitting next to a blonde that Eliza didn’t recognize from any of the dating shows he’d been on, but she easily could have been on one of them. She was gorgeous.
As she continued down the long aisle she smiled at the people she knew from home and blushed when Nana Holmes winked at her. She wasn’t sure what the older woman had thought was going to happen when she’d orchestrated the shenanigans the previous night, but she doubted it was what had happened. Eliza grinned, most likely sheepishly, at the matriarch of the Holmes family, and to her surprise Nana wagged her brows.
Okay, maybe what happened was exactly what Nana thought would happen.
Eliza hoped that her chest and neck weren’t turning red with the embarrassment she felt. She didn’t want Nana Holmes to see that reaction and read any more into things than she already had. More importantly, she didn’t want her skin to clash with her coral dress. Jess had worked wonders on her hair and makeup and she didn’t want a silly blush to detract from it.
The rest of the short walk to her spot was over before she knew it. Her mind was distracted with trying to control her body’s response and when she glanced up to see how far she had to go, she was only a couple of feet away from Nate. Her heart sank when his lips didn’t turn up in a smile, or even a grin when their eyes met. But it floated right back up when in his eyes she didn’t see regret, she saw…desire.