Chapter 21
Dax stood under the pulsing hot spray of the shower and let the water beat into his muscles like a thousand tiny massaging hands. He ran his hands through his wet hair and tilted his head back so that the near-scalding hot water covered his face as well.
He shook his head to try to clear it. As much as he had hoped that this shower would relax and re-center him, it wasn’t having that effect at all. In fact, if anything, he felt even more full of swirling out-of-control emotions now than he had before. Last night, Ginny had come home with him. She’d made love to him. She’d fallen asleep in his arms. But was he sleeping soundly beside her? No. He’d left the woman he loved, sleeping naked in his bed because all he could see when he closed his eyes was one person.
Derek Fucking St. Vincent.
He had so much anger towards the guy and it wasn’t that he had done anything wrong. He’d actually seemed like a stand-up guy that genuinely cared about Ginny. But seeing him with her, hugging her and kissing her, even if it was just for the cameras, had brought up to the surface something that had been simmering just beneath it for the past couple of weeks. She’d be leaving soon and Dax would be seeing her with some other Derek St. Vincent.
Shit.
His hands fisted and he had the urge to punch a hole through the shower wall that he’d spent an entire weekend tiling. Dax wasn’t used to feeling like this, or feeling at all for that matter. But with Ginny all he did was feel and he was all over the place. His emotions were like a pendulum swinging wildly back and forth.
From anxious to calm. Anytime she was away from him he felt anxious and whenever she was in his arms he was calm.
From disbelief to certainty. He couldn’t believe that someone as perfect and perfect for him actually existed but now he was certain that she did.
From lucky to cursed. He felt like the luckiest man alive to be with Ginny but he knew he was cursed that it wasn’t forever.
From love to hate. He loved Ginny and hated the fact that she was leaving.
From trust to jealousy. He trusted Ginny completely but they weren’t together and she could see other people and that made him extremely jealous.
It wasn’t like he was choosing to be or feel any of those things, he didn’t have a choice in the matter. Dax liked to be in control, and he could see that slipping away. His life had always been controlled and well ordered, and he loved it that way. Self-contained. He was the master of his own destiny. He worked hard for his success and he learned from his failure. He was in charge of his own fate. That had always been the way he wanted it, and so that’s how it was. Until now.
Now, it wasn’t like that. All because an adorable, sexy country singer had walked into his life and blown apart that carefully constructed world. He was no longer immune. He was not desensitized. And he hated it. But at the same time, he wouldn’t take back a second that he’d had with her. If he had it to do all over again, he wouldn’t change a thing. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t terrified about losing her.
In his military career, he had gone on missions that were dangerous. Even deadly. Suicide missions, people called some of them. And yet, he had never felt the level of fear that he now felt at the thought of Ginny Valentine waltzing out of his life as suddenly and unexpectedly as she had waltzed in.
He heard the glass shower door click open behind him and he turned to see a very beautiful—and very naked—Ginny standing there in the door. The steam from the way-too-hot water curled around her face and body, giving the picture a dreamlike quality.
For a moment, he wasn’t sure if he was dreaming. But then she moved into the shower, closing the door behind her and touched him, and then there was no doubt in his mind that she was flesh and blood.
“Hi, mind if I join you?” She scooted under the spray and the water tamped down her golden hair, turning it a rich, dark blonde and plastering it to her. His eyes traveled over her fair, naked skin, which was getting pinker by the second because of the heat, and looking extra enticing as it glistened from the sheen of water that now covered it.
His gaze traced individual rivulets as they made their way from her swan-like neck down between her perfectly formed breasts and continued over her taut belly. He wanted to speak, to tell her all he was feeling about her, about their situation, but he knew he couldn’t so instead of communicating with words he figured he’d use something a lot more fun.
He touched her hips and was just starting to lift her up when she placed her hands on his chest and stepped out of his grasp. Then without another word she dropped down to her knees and wrapped her lips around his head, sucking him into her mouth. She took him deep, all the way to the back of her throat. He groaned and pressed his hands to the sides of the shower to keep his balance. His knees got weak and it took every ounce of will he possessed to stay on his feet.
“Oh, fuck, baby. Damn, that feels amazing,” he groaned. Of course, that was seriously underselling what it actually felt like, but he didn’t think words existed in the English language that would convey the truth of what was rushing through his body at the touch of her mouth to his sex.
She moved her mouth up and down his dick, maintaining a perfect suction and rubbing the sensitive skin on the underside with her tongue as she stroked up and down with one hand while the other cupped his ass, controlling the rhythm that he pumped in and out of her hot mouth. He reached one hand down and entangled it in her hair, watching her head bob on his steel length. He couldn’t get enough of the sight. He still wasn’t entirely convinced that it wasn’t a perfect dream. He smirked. A wet dream, in fact.
She pulled her head back and released his swollen member from her mouth and started to touch herself between her legs with one hand while the other was stroking him off. It was such an erotic sight that his week knees almost buckled from the arousal that shot through him. He watched as her head fell back slightly, her eyes closed as she worked them both into a frenzy. Both of their bodies, their pleasure, in her hands, literally. On the upstroke, she even curled her hand over the head, giving his most sensitive spot a little bit of extra attention.
He was a strong man, but he knew that if she kept that motion up for too long, he wasn’t going to be strong enough to keep from coming all over her, and he didn’t want that to happen yet. Reaching down he grasped her firmly under the arms, picking her up and standing her on her feet in front of him again. He took a step forward and at the same time pulled her towards him until their bodies were pressed together down the entire length.
He couldn’t tell where the heat from the steam ended and the heat from her body began. It gave the incredible illusion that he was completely surrounded by her. Totally enveloped. He loved that sensation.
Lowering his head he kissed her passionately, slipping his tongue into her mouth, holding her to him as tightly as he could without crushing her. He didn’t know if it was pure lust from the surprise of her invading his shower, unexpected and naked, or if this intensity stemmed from the frustration that was consuming his mind before she showed up.
He didn’t care, really. It wasn’t the right time to analyze his feelings. It was the right time to surrender to them. And that was exactly what he was going to do.
He slid his hands down her slick back and cupped her ass, picking her up off of the shower floor and carrying her to the far end, where he settled her on the bench that was built into the side of the tiled wall. When he had selected this model of shower for the bathroom remodel, he had never guessed that it would be put to such perfect use. One thing was for sure, though—right now in this moment, he was certainly glad that he had chosen it.
When she was firmly sitting on the ledge of the bench, it was his turn to drop to his knees in front of her. He didn’t even need to push her knees apart this time. As soon as he knelt, she spread them open and extended her arms to him, wanting him to come closer, which he did.
Rather than kissing her again, though, he immediately dipped his head and started lapping up the sparkling diamond drops of water that lay on the hard buttons of her nipples. The taste was an incredible mix of the sweet musk of her skin and the clear, sharp edge of the shower water. He felt like he could suckle there all day long—but when he felt her writhing under his touch, her hips bucking forward, begging him without words to be touched between her legs, in that most sensitive of pleasure centers—he knew that he couldn’t put her off.