Chapter 8
Dax sat on the side of his bed and took off his lifting gloves. He’d spent the past three hours down in his gym. The entire night had consisted of tossing and turning. His body was on full alert knowing that Ginny was just down the hall. At four a.m. he’d given up any hope that he would be getting sleep so he’d gotten up and headed downstairs.
Even after his punishing workout he still wasn’t sleepy. He was exhausted when he’d drudged back up the stairs and even worried that he might have overdone it and would have a hard time remaining alert today. But then he’d heard the shower running and suddenly he was wide awake. He might have a hard time today but it would have nothing to do with staying sharp.
His phone buzzed and he saw that it was Riley Sloan. He’d known Riley for a decade, served with him in the Marines, owned two bars with him and also worked with him at Elite Security. Growing up Dax had always wanted a brother and Riley was probably the closest thing he had to one.
“Hey, man.”
“She’s staying at your house,” Riley stated flatly, skipping the small talk.
Dax wasn’t sure if it was a question or not, but he answered it anyway. “Yeah.”
“And you’re working her security detail.”
Again, he was unclear if Riley was telling him or asking him but he responded anyway. “Yep.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?”
That was definitely a question. One that Dax deflected. “Nothing’s going on between us.”
His deflection was met with silence. Dax knew Riley well enough to know that meant he had more to say. He waited to hear what it was but instead of giving him shit he just asked, “Do you think you can come in today for the meeting? We pushed it since you couldn’t make it yesterday.”
“I think so. Ginny is going to be at the studio with Chase. Once I drop her off I should be able to head over around ten.”
“See you then.”
The phone disconnected and he had a feeling Riley was not finished with this subject and his friend would bring up the situation when he saw him. Riley had been one of the only people in Dax’s life that had noticed the change in him the past few months. About a month into his no interest, no spark, no desire dry spell Riley had pulled Dax aside and asked what was going on. Dax had assured him that nothing was wrong. Riley hadn’t pushed Dax but he’d said he knew he was full of shit and he was there if he ever wanted to talk about whatever was bothering him.
As much as Dax had appreciated the offer he hadn’t taken Riley up on it. What was he going to say? I spent the night with Virginia Valentine, nothing happened but I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s so bad that I’m not interested in other women. When I go to sleep she is the last thing I think about and when I wake up her face is the first image that pops into my mind. I’m scared that she’s ruined me for other women. That was the truth but he knew it sounded crazy, so he’d kept it to himself. And he’s glad he did, otherwise Riley would know that even though it was true nothing physical had happened he would know something had happened.
He’d spoken to Seth this morning and forwarded Ginny’s tentative schedule to his boss. For the time that Ginny was in town Dax would be accompanying her to the studio and anywhere she needed to go in public. It was a fairly simple assignment. No recon. No high-level security threat. He was basically a glorified babysitter. Normally, that kind of job would have bored the hell out of him, but not this one.
In front of him Capone flipped over on his back.
“You’re lucky you’re a cute little cock blocker.” Dax reached down and began rubbing Cap’s belly.
Last night before he and Ginny had been gassed out, they were about to kiss. He’d played the moments before they’d both started gagging over and over in his mind. It had been on a constant loop. Even now, hours later, he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. There was part of him that was disappointed that he hadn’t been able to taste her sweet lips. He hadn’t brushed his tongue against hers.
But another part of him was relieved. If they’d kissed he wasn’t sure where that would have led. He wanted to believe that he would have been able to put the brakes on and treat the situation and Ginny with the respect that it and she deserved, but he honestly wasn’t so sure. He had so much pent up desire for her that if she’d wanted to take things further he wasn’t sure he’d have had the discipline to stop before things went too far.
And then what?
Where would they be then?
Would he come clean to Seth?
Would she still be staying with him?
As experienced with women as Dax was, relationships weren’t really his strong suit. In fact, he’d never done more than casually date women. No strings. No attachments. No feelings. So he had no idea how to even start or maintain something that was more than just physical.
He stood and walked to his dresser to grab some clothes for the day when he heard the water in the shower turn off. He had no problem imagining what was going on behind the closed door. He pictured her drying herself off. Bending at the waist as she ran the towel from her ankle, up her slender calf and thighs, across her belly and over her full breasts.
The tally of things he felt a disproportionate amount of jealousy for kept growing. Capone. Jon Snow. Towel. Basically he wanted to trade places with anything that put a look of longing on her face or touched her body.
In frustration at his ridiculous behavior, he let out a sigh as he ran his hands through his hair. He needed to get his shit together. She needed a place to stay and she felt safe with him. He was protecting her. They would be spending a lot of time together and his behavior needed to be professional and sane. This pre-mid-life crisis he was experiencing would have to wait.
He needed to look at her like a friend and client. Nothing more. Not the woman that he couldn’t get out of his mind. Not the woman that had been haunting his every waking moment. Not the woman that he dreamed of every night. He needed to keep his distance. Be polite and friendly but at arm’s length. He had to remember that and steel himself for the next time he saw her angelic face and looked into the endless depths of her ocean blue eyes.