Over the years Stephanie had imagined what she would feel like if she ever saw her mother again. Would she be sad? Would she be angry? Would she cry? Would she scream?
She’d played out what she would say. The original script included a lot of why’s and how’s. Why had she left? How could she have abandoned her children? As she got older all she wanted to do was tell her mother exactly what she thought of her. That she was a horrible, selfish person that didn’t deserve the title of mother.
She’d considered what she’d want her mother to say to her. Would she want her to apologize? Would she want her to tell her she’d made the biggest mistake of her life and she regretted it every day? Would she want her to tell her that she loved her, that she’d always loved her, that she never stopped loving her?
Now that she was face to face with the woman that gave birth to her, she didn’t feel any of those things. She didn’t want to say any of that or hear any of that. She didn’t have anything to say to her and she honestly had no interest in listening to anything her mother had to say. All she felt was numb. She just wanted her to leave and not come back.
Maybe this was what closure felt like?
“Surprise!” Her mother threw her hands up in the air. “Happy Birthday!”
It’s not my birthday.Stephanie didn’t waste time correcting her because whether or not her mom actually thought it was her birthday today didn’t matter, she knew that’s not why she was there and she didn’t care to find out what her real reasons were. “You need to go.”
“I missed you.” Her mother took a step towards her, reaching out her arms, but Stephanie stepped back.
Ace tightened his hold around her and she appreciated the support. Her voice was calm as she repeated, “You need to leave.”
“Don’t be silly, I just got here.” Her mother turned and for the first time since she’d opened the door, Stephanie noticed suitcases sitting on the porch behind her.
“You’re not staying, you need to go.”
Her mother ignored Stephanie completely and reached her hand towards Ace. Smiling from ear to ear she said, “Hi, I’m Connie. Stephanie’s mom.”
Ace didn’t shake her mother’s hand. “I think your daughter has made it clear you’re not welcome here.”
Stephanie couldn’t help but get a small thrill out of having Ace stand up for her. She’d assumed that his southern hospitality would dictate he at least complete the introduction, but apparently his loyalty to her trumped that. She could definitely get used to having him at her side.
In true Connie Holland fashion, her mother totally ignored what both Ace and Stephanie were saying and continued to live in an alternate reality that only she inhabited. “Oh my, is that an accent I detect? Are you from the South?”
This was getting ridiculous. Stephanie knew it was only going to get worse. Her mother had always lived in an alternate universe and she had no desire to follow her mother to Oz. Stephanie tried to make herself as clear as possible. “I’m going to shut the door. You need to leave and don’t come back. You have no right to be here. You gave up that right.”
“Stephiebug, it’s your birthday! I’m here to celebrate. I have a present for you!” Her mom bent over and started rummaging through her bags.
“Goodbye.” Stephanie didn’t feel guilty at all as she began closing the door on her mother. She would’ve happily closed the door on that entire part of her life, if she hadn’t heard what she did right before it latched.
“Mom?!” Her sister’s voice rang out.
Pulling the door back open, Stephanie saw her sister throw herself into their mother’s arms.
“Simmy! My Simmy girl!” Her mother exclaimed.
Her sister hugged their mother tightly and Stephanie saw tears glistening in her eyes as she mouthed silently to her sister, “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”
“Fuck,” Ace cursed under his breath.
Yeah. Fuck.
Simone was thanking Stephanie because she assumed she had something to do with their mother showing up. She probably thought after the talk they’d had, Stephanie had found her and asked her to come. She hadn’t.
“I can’t believe you’re really here!” Simone stepped back and covered her mouth with her hand as she shook her head.
Their mother ran her fingers through Simone’s hair, lifting up the ends. “I can’t believe how grown up you are. You’re too beautiful! I bet the boys are lining up.”
Stephanie saw that her sister was eating up their mother’s compliments. And why wouldn’t she? She’d always wanted her attention and now she was getting it. “What are you doing here? How long are you staying?”
“Well, I guess as long as your sister will have me.”
Wow. All of her life she’d witnessed her mother’s skills in manipulation. It looked like in the years she’d been gone she’d honed them to a master level.