I hadn’t actually slept, so technically I was up late. I couldn’t stop thinking about Cheyenne and the fact that I was in love with her.
“Wanted to get a jump on things today.” The truth was I wanted to get out of my house and get my mind off of my best friend’s little sister.
“Did you go home with that pretty brunette that was chewing your ear off last night?”
He was referring to Camilla. She was a software developer on vacation from Texas that was here on vacation. “Nah.”
“Clyde and the boys think you’re losin’ your touch.”
“Could be.” I nodded in agreement.
“I don’t think that’s the case at all.”
Not only did Ray look and sound like Morgan Freeman. He was also just as wise and observant as hell. He didn’t miss a thing. And when he gave you advice, the smart thing to do was listen.
“Ya ask me, I think that your attention just turned elsewhere.” Ray tilted his head with a knowing glint in his eyes.
“Is that so?” I cut open the box of bar napkins.
“Yes, sirree. The question is, what are you going to do about it?”
I was ninety-nine percent sure that Ray and I were talking about the same thing, but just in case, I didn’t tip my hand and answered with a vague, “Not sure.”
Because I wasn’t. Were my feelings for Cheyenne really worth losing my best friend over? More than my best friend, he was my brother.
“You think what you and Cheyenne have comes around every day?”
Okay, now that he’d actually said her name, I knew that we were on the same page. A month ago, I’d probably have denied that anything was going on at all between us. But after these past couple of weeks of not seeing her, not talking to her, not having her in my life, I couldn’t do that. I was actually relieved to have someone to discuss it with.
“I don’t know, Ray. I don’t know what we have.” It was the truth.
Did I feel something between Cheyenne and me? Hell yes. But it’s not like we’d talked about it. She might just have a crush on me. Or maybe she really was a virgin and wanted me to be her first because she trusted me. She knew that I’d never hurt her. What if all the moments that we’d shared, the looks, the tension had been about that and I was just projecting what I felt onto her?
Maybe I was just a means to an end, and the love I felt was one-sided.
“Well, now, I don’t think that’s the case at all, son. I think you’ve got a pretty good idea about what you have. I just think you’re scared to do anything about it.”
“I don’t deserve her.” I hadn’t meant to voice my greatest fear, but Ray had a way of extracting that sort of information.
Ray’s left brow lifted, and his tone changed. “I don’t think that’s a decision you can make.”
I looked at him, not sure where this was going. If I couldn’t make that decision, who could?
“She’s a smart girl. I think she’s mighty capable of figurin’ out what or who she deserves.” Ray paused before continuing. “Seems to me, best thing you can do is get real with yourself and then have a talk with Billy.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
Ray shrugged. “Well, then, I guess you really don’t deserve her.”
With that ominous statement, he headed back up to his apartment over the bar.
I knew that Ray was right. About all of it. What I felt for Cheyenne didn’t come along every day. And if I couldn’t sack up and do anything about it, then I really didn’t deserve her.
I was still chewing on what all that meant when sunlight poured into the back room as the door opened again but this time Billy walked through it.
“Hey!” I grinned as he came in. “How was your flight?”
Unlike Cheyenne and me, Billy and I had been texting almost daily. He’d never taken a vacation from the bar and I could tell it had been difficult for him to let go of the reins. So he’d kept hold of them remotely.