“Yeah, I just…I don’t know what to say to him.”
“You should tell him how you feel,” Isabella said sincerely.
“And that you want him to pop that cherry,” Nadia added making a popping sound with her mouth.
“I just…I feel like I might have messed things up. I just wish I remembered what happened when he took me home.” I was hoping before I talked to him again, I’d be able to regain some memory of what I might have said or done. Bits and pieces at the wedding had come back to me, but nothing from once we got home. “I’m sure I made a fool out of myself, but I just can’t remember.”
From the looks that were being exchanged between my friends, I could see that my worries were not unfounded.
“You should definitely talk to him. Tell him how you feel,” Skylar offered.
“I’m just scared I’m going to ruin our friendship.” Which was part of the reason I’d needed liquid courage in the first place.
“I know how close you two are but what if he started dating someone else and you never told him how you felt?” Isabella pointed out.
I knew that they were right. I needed to talk to him. I needed to tell him that I loved him. That I wanted to be with him.
But our situation was more complicated than I’d let on to the girls because I hadn’t wanted to reveal my deepest insecurity because it sounded pathetic. I knew that it stemmed from the abandonment and rejection of the man I thought was my father, but just because I knew the root of my issue didn’t mean I could pull the sucker out.
Cash was best friends with my brother, and Billy had been very vocal about not wanting us to be together. From the time I could remember all I’d wanted was a real family. A family that loved me and accepted me. I had a chance to have that now and I didn’t want to do anything to mess that up. Especially not with Billy. From the day I’d come back, he’d acted like no time had passed and treated me like I’d never been gone.
Hank barely spoke to me. Jimmy was nice and we were growing closer, but I’d been a virtual stranger to him. He hadn’t even known I existed before the will reading.
What if me being in love with his best friend changed that?
What if it cost me the only family I had?
Was love really worth the risk?