One, in particular, she was sitting out on the back porch on a swing with Hank. She was upset about something and I ran to her to find out what was wrong. On the way, I fell and scraped my knee. When I did, it was Hank, not my mother, who picked me up, took me into the house, set me on the kitchen counter, and tended to my scrape.
I’m not even sure she noticed I got hurt.
Another time I remembered waking up to loud crashes and screaming downstairs and realized my parents were fighting. I ran out of my room crying and it was Hank who calmed me down before tucking me back in bed and staying with me until I fell back to sleep.
I was close to Billy, I followed him around and he did look out for me. But from what I remembered, I looked to Hank as my parental figure, which would make sense because Billy was three years older than me and Hank was eight.
It made me sad that Hank had been the most distant of all my brothers since I came back into their lives. He was known for being the strong, silent type but seeing him standing in front of us, looking so obviously burdened by the fear that my mother had been suicidal was almost too much for me to bear. Tears began to well in my eyes.
When I saw my brothers both hug him, I stood and threw my arms around him as well.
“Okay, thanks guys.” Hank began pulling away.
“Nope.” Jimmy squeezed his arms around us tighter. “You have to take it. You have to take our love.”
When I heard my sisters-in-laws laughing, I began chuckling as well. When Hank managed to break free, I was feeling overwhelmed with gratitude for having a family to call my own but also confused. My head was spinning, and I could feel myself on the brink of getting emotional. Besides my grandparents, my three brothers were the only blood family I had. Well, unless I found my father.
“So wait!” I hiccupped. “Does this mean that Wayne is my dad?”
Hank stared at me. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. But that wasn’t because I was tipsy, I could never tell what he was thinking.
“I don’t know,” he answered.
Disappointment flooded me and I could feel my eyes begin to well up. Isabella wrapped her arm around me in support and I felt a gush of love rush through me.
“Oh, who cares! I have you guys!” I’d always wanted sisters and now I had them. I had sisters and brothers and a man that I was in love with.
“You know what sounds good? Coffee.” Isabella suggested.
Coffee? I didn’t want coffee. I wanted one more drink and then I was finally going to get the nerve up to tell Cash that I was a virgin and I was in love with him.
“Hmm, coffee sounds great,” Reagan agreed and I felt her arm wrap around me.
“So we still don’t know who my father is?” I questioned aloud, I hadn’t meant to, I was just trying to file the correct information in my head now that the meeting was over.
“No, sweetie,” Isabella confirmed as she and Reagan helped me down the steps.
As we walked back under the tent, I looked for Cash but didn’t see him. It had been like that all day. It felt like he was intentionally avoiding me.
Or maybe I was just being paranoid.
I was pondering that thought when I felt myself being lowered onto a seat that was at a table. Isabella set a cup of coffee in front of me and told me to drink it. I wasn’t sure how long I sat there staring at the brown liquid floating in the cup when I heard everyone start cheering.
I lifted my head and saw my brother and Reagan waving as they walked out of the tent.
It took me a few beats to realize that they were leaving to go to the airport to leave on their honeymoon.
Billy was leaving.
That meant he wouldn’t be able to be cock block me, which he did all the time. Normally, I didn’t mind it. I’d been so lonely growing up and wished every day that I could be with my brothers, so him being protective of me didn’t bother me.
But Cash was different. I didn’t need protection from Cash, well, unless you counted condoms. I hoped that I would need them.
This was it. My chance to go talk to Cash and not have Billy shooting daggers at us.
With a renewed sense of determination to get my man, I stood up but wobbled slightly, grabbing the table for support. There was a crash behind me, and I looked over my shoulder and saw that someone knocked over my chair.
Wait, maybe I did that.