CHAPTER 9
Billy
Iunlocked the door to Southern Comfort and stomped inside, welcoming the dark interior of the bar. There were still several hours till I usually showed up, but I couldn’t stand the thought of killing the afternoon in solitude, and I’d had enough of my brothers’ company for the time being. I had too much to process.
My little brother was right, today had been a real mindfuck.
I’d been so sure of myself, sitting at Hank’s kitchen table and spouting off to him and Jimmy. Then, as soon as I’d climbed back in my truck, thoughts began to pick at me like annoying flies buzzing around in my head.
I was used to living a life that was easy, and predictable. I might have enjoyed variety in the company I kept, but even in that there was consistency. I thrived off routine and familiarity.
Brenda, a woman I’d “dated”—and I used the term very loosely—was studying to be a grief counselor, and she’d told me that my penchant for living a groundhog-day-like lifestyle was a by-product of the trauma of losing my mother at such a young age and having an unstable home life after that.
I’d let most of her diagnosis and psychobabble go in one ear and out the other. But that one had stuck. There was definitely some gravy to what she was serving. I couldn’t argue that I’d created a life where my days were basically on replay.
But now, everything was different.
Pop was really gone. I’d thought I was prepared to lose him. Hell I’d written him off and come to terms with living without a father before I’d had hair on my balls.
So it was surprising how strange it was to live in a world where the old man wasn’t around. It’s not that we were close, far from it. But he had always been there, in the background. He’d been a constant in my life. A constant pain in the ass, sure. But still a constant.
And Cheyenne was back. Logic would say that Shadow was pretty much a stranger to me, now. After all, we hadn’t seen each other since we were so little that I hadn’t even recognized her at first.
But my heart wasn’t listening to logic. Not one bit. The minute I’d found out who she was, it’s like I hadn’t missed an emotional beat. She was my baby sister, the one who followed me around everywhere I went.
Now, as to what that meant for my life, or hers, for my brothers…I wasn’t sure. That would be a wait and see kind of a deal.
I breathed in deep. Yeah. That’s what I needed to do, just let the future play out, see where it took us.
Something inside me told me that there was no way that was going to happen. I tended to try and control things, something else Brenda had attributed to my childhood.
But, truth be told, it wasn’t just thoughts of Pop or Cheyenne that were making me jumpy as hell.
It was the lady lawyer.
Damn!
That woman was sex in a pencil skirt.
She hadn’t thrown herself at me like most women did. When it came down to it, she’d seemed just plain annoyed with me, more than anything.
But hell, if I was analyzing shit, I’d have to admit that might’ve been part of her appeal. The thrill of the chase was real, and it was something that I didn’t experience very often. Maybe having to do a little seducing would be fun, for a change.
Still, even the thought of workin’ for the lady lawyer’s attention was not enough to shake the dark cloud that had been hanging over me all day. Something else was goin’ on. I just wasn’t sure how to fix it.
“Hey, Billy. You’re here early.” The observation came from my best friend Cash, who bartended here at Southern Comfort, as he stepped through the swinging doors that led to the keg room.
I shrugged. “Just thought I’d get a jump on things before we open.”
“Things? What things?”
“It’s my bar. Do I need a reason to be here?” I snapped and immediately regretted it.
He stopped in his tracks and a crease appeared in his forehead. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothin’.”
He shot me a concerned look, which was probably warranted.