CHAPTER 7
Axel stared up at the ceiling, watching the blades of the fan turn as he lay wide awake in a bed that was clearly not made for someone of his size. His ankles were resting on the edge of the mattress and his head was pressed against the headboard.
He’d tried to sleep, but his brain just wouldn’t shut off. He was worried about Izzy. She was calling him several times a day. It was obvious that she was miserable.
Was he doing the right thing by making her stick it out?
He had no idea. It’s not like he’d had any real parenting role models. His mom had really been more like a friend and out of all of her husbands, only one had really chosen to take a parenting role.
Duke had been strict but fair with Axel. His mom married Duke when Axel was seven. He’d given Axel chores and a bedtime, which probably sounded horrible to most kids, but Axel remembered being relieved to have some structure. Duke even taught him his trade of woodworking and construction.
He’d kept in touch with Duke until he’d passed five years ago.
It was times like these that he really missed the only “dad” he’d ever known. If Duke were here, Axel would be calling him to find out what he thought the right thing to do with Izzy would be. His gut told him that he’d say that she needed to “tough it out.” But maybe not. Maybe he’d say that her education was the most important thing and if she wasn’t in an environment where she could learn then she shouldn’t be there.
Axel blew out a breath as he scrubbed his hands over his face. It had been so easy to judge his mom when he was on the sidelines. He’d been a great backseat parent. Everything had been black and white. He had all the answers. But now that he was calling the shots, he realized he had no idea what he was doing.
And Brynn has been doing this alone for thirteen years.
He turned his head and looked around the cramped room.
Brynn mentioned that she and Ryder had lived in the apartment before her mother had moved away and they relocated to the main house. He tried picturing her in there, taking care of an infant, toddler, and child. It was a small space, but cozy. He wondered how many sleepless nights she’d had pacing the floors with a teething baby, or how many hours she’d spent at the small kitchen table quietly doing her homework, praying he didn’t wake up.
Before Axel had joined the military, he’d helped out with Izzy. Especially when his mom worked. She’d been a cocktail waitress at the time, so he’d had a lot of sleepless nights. He remembered trying to study and take care of an infant. It was hard then and he’d only been the backup. He couldn’t imagine being a teenager and a single parent the way Brynn had been. Being responsible for another life all the time.
And then add a divorce on top of that. His own divorce had been difficult and he’d been several years older and there hadn’t been any kids involved.
A lot of people he knew would’ve crumbled, but not Brynn. She’d not only raised an incredible kid, she’d gotten a master’s degree while doing it. She amazed him.
If he’d met her under any other circumstances, he’d be convinced that she was too good to be true. But since the background check he had on her was CIA-level, he knew that she was exactly who and what she appeared to be. And that knowledge was messing with his mind.
Giving up on getting any sleep, he pushed off the mattress to a seated position and shifted so his feet hit the floor. He scrubbed his hands over his face and inhaled through his nose. He had to get his shit under control. He had a minimum of three more months on this job. He was going to have to figure out a way to detach his emotions, which was a problem he’d never experienced before. It’d always been the opposite in fact.
Earlier that night, it took everything in him to keep himself from knocking on Brynn’s front door to see if she and Ryder wanted to hang out. He had to actively stop himself. And that was a problem. He’d never had any issues keeping professional boundaries.
Without even being aware, Brynn had somehow managed to break down walls he’d had so long that they were part of his DNA. He should be keeping his distance and all he wanted to do was spend more time with her.
He often heard his sister say that she had “serious FOMO,” or fear of missing out, when her friends did things and she couldn’t go. He’d never related to that. He’d always preferred to be alone. The only exception to that rule had been Izzy. Any chance he got to spend with his baby sister, he’d jumped at. He hadn’t wanted to miss out on anything when she was growing up and he’d tried to be there for her doing things he’d wished his dad had been able to do with him.
But Izzy was different. She was family. The only family he had, really.
Brynn and Ryder were not his family.
So why had he wanted to see them so badly last night? He’d found himself checking the surveillance screen angles several times an hour. Once, when they were eating their fried chicken dinner. Then again when they were watching a movie. Ace Ventura. And then again after ten when the lights had gone out.
It was only then that he realized he had no reason to be pulling up the video feed. It was being monitored twenty-four hours a day. He’d never come close to crossing a line on a job and last night he’d definitely been tip-toeing in that area.
He was going to have to get a grip or pull himself off this assignment.
Standing up, he grabbed his boxers, shorts, and a T-shirt and figured he would walk the perimeter to clear his mind.
As he was tying his shoes, the alarm on his phone went off. He grabbed it and saw that the sensors he’d planted at the edge of the property line had been tripped. He tapped on the image and saw Brynn walking down toward the river. She was dressed in yoga pants, a baby blue long-sleeved T-shirt and tennis shoes.
It wasn’t even six a.m. yet, but thankfully, he was dressed. He stood and grabbed the key that he had to thank for getting him more action than he’d had in a long time.
After his divorce, he’d dated. But sometime over the past few years, he’d stopped. It wasn’t a decision that he’d made consciously, it just sort of happened. Or stopped happening. From his experience, women were fine with casual for a few months, but inevitably they’d want to have “the relationship talk.” They’d ask questions about where he saw them going and if he saw a future for them. It didn’t matter how upfront and honest he was at the beginning, that’s where they always ended up.
Grabbing his hoodie, he took the stairs two at a time and followed behind Brynn from a safe distance. He scanned the area and didn’t see anything that looked out of place. A morning mist covered the lake. The downtown area was quiet except for the Drawbridge Diner that was open twenty-four hours and The Muffin Man Bakery.