The sting of rejection sinks to my stomach, and it’s like I can’t breathe. “Oh, okay. That’s fine. C-could you get off me, please?”
“I didn’t mean it the way it came out; I’m sorry. I just don’t want to be another drunken hookup. Put the T-shirt on; we can talk or sleep, whatever you wanna do.”
What he’s saying makes sense, but somehow it doesn’t soothe the embarrassment I’m feeling. My lip wobbles, despite my attempts to concentrate on him saying he does want me. It sounds like he only wants me if I offer him more, which I can’t do. The need to please him and escape him are battling against each other in my brain, suffocating me.
“Stassie, please don’t cry, fuck. I want you so badly; I just don’t want the first time we have sex to be something you regret.”
Saying nothing further, I reach for the Titans T-shirt and head toward the bathroom. When I’ve changed out of my dress, cheeks still pink and eyes threatening to water, he’s already in the bed, so I climb in beside him.
He leans over and presses his lips to my temple, kissing repeatedly.
“Do you want to cuddle?”
I rest my head against the pillow. “I’m not a cuddler.”
He chuckles, kissing me one more time. “Good night.”
I wait until he’s fast asleep before requesting the Uber.
FOURTEEN | NATHAN
Sometimes I don’t usethe brain I’ve been given.
It’s embarrassing, and I’m going to own up and say I deserve the round of silent treatment coming my way.
I’m a fucking douchebag. Possibly the biggest douchebag that’s ever existed. What kind of person has a woman under them, a woman they’ve been dreaming about for weeks, and tells them that they don’t want to fuck them when she’s asking for a condom.
I couldn’t have picked a more vulnerable time to reject her; I didn’t even mean to. I hope she understands that. Even if she does, I still hurt her, even with the best of intentions.
I was just drunk and jealous after she tried to get into my bedroom with Ryan’s code. I’ve fucked everything up because I was petty.
Great work, Hawkins.
I wanted to show her I don’t only want her when I’m drunk, I want her all the time. I like her spark, and I want to get to know her, but I well and truly fumbled the bag.
I only realized she wasn’t there when I rolled over, half-asleep, to wrap my arms around her. She’d obviously waited until I’d fallen asleep, not that I blame her.
Since I woke up, I’ve been calling her, but her phone is going straight to her voice mail. She only gave me her number last night and I practically died of shock. After she came, she was cute and sleepy and docile, curled up on my lap, babbling nonsense, asking me lots of questions, and looking up at me with her big, blue eyes.
I grabbed my phone from my pocket to check the time, and she muttered about not putting it in her eye line so she didn’t see all the nudes I get sent. I unlocked it and handed it to her, telling her to enjoy herself, and she went to contacts and typed in her number.
“What should I save me as?”
“Your name is usually a good place to start,” I teased.
She giggled away, tapping her nails on the back of my phone. “Mhmm. That’s boring…I want to be…slut from the Uber…No, that’s a little long. Uber Slut. Perfect.”
I couldn’t help the snort. “You can’t be serious, Anastasia,” I challenged, but she was already tapping away happily.
So now, I’m stuck trying to get hold of Uber Slut.
UBER SLUT
NATE HAWKINS: Answer your phone Stas
NATE HAWKINS: Please
NATE HAWKINS: Answer your phone or I’m changing your name