“Oh my goodness. Everyone just calm down!” Brady yells. “Hawkins, get out of here. Aaron, get up.” She pulls on her hair, finally losing her cool. “Anastasia, get through the next fifteen minutes,please. Then we will talk, I promise you.”
Aaron and I must look like absolute disasters sitting on the benches in front of the camera, waiting for our result.
My eyes are puffy, and the side of Aaron’s face is swollen, although partially being covered by the ice pack a first aider sourced for him. Brady is sitting between us, her hand intertwined with each of our free ones, and I can’t imagine three people who want to be sitting in front of a camera less than the three of us right now.
The scores roll in, placing us in first among the skaters who have performed already, but I can’t even bring myself to be excited because it’s over. I sit motionless, ignoring Brady and Aaron’s cheers. Her arm wraps around my shoulder in comfort, but when the light of the camera goes off, indicating the recording has stopped, I’m up and on my way to find Nathan again.
“Anastasia, wait!” Coach shouts, the sound of her shoes echoing behind me. I slow down, turning to face her, watching her jog toward me with open arms. “I’m sorry he did that to you.”
“I’m done.”
“You keep saying that, but what does it mean?” she asks cautiously. I can see Aaron approaching from the results room, strolling calmly like a man with absolutely nothing to worry about. “You can’t quit skating over a kiss, Anastasia. I won’t let you.”
“I’m not quitting,” I say, looking at Aaron over her shoulder as he reaches us. “I’m just not skating with Aaron ever again.”
He scoffs and the urge to punch the other side of his face is overwhelming. “You’ll never get another partner, and even if you do, you’ll never be ready in the next two years. Are you really planning to make your Olympic debut at twenty-seven? Be realistic,Jesus.Just accept my apology, Stas. We’ll talk about it with Dr. Robeska next week. We need to get our head in the game for tomorrow. Look how fucking good we are together! We…”
I let him go on and on, pitching himself to me like a goddamn salesman. And when he’s finally done, smiling smugly to himself because he thinks his bullshit has worked on me once again, I look back to Brady. “I’m going solo. If our score puts us through, please tell them that I withdraw.”
Aaron’s hands grip his hair as reality starts to set in. “You can’t go solo. Don’t fucking do this to me, Anastasia. AftereverythingI’ve done for you, for fuck’s sake. Stop being such a stubborn bitch! You’re not even good enough to compete alone. Oh my God. Oh myfuckingGod. You’re ruining my life.”
“That’s enough!” Brady snaps at him.
“I’m going to find my boyfriend, and then I’m going home. Good-bye, Aaron.”
“Stas,please,” he begs.
“I’ve done nothing but trust you, Aaron. For nearly two and a half years, I’ve put everything I’ve got into this partnership, into our friendship. All you’ve done is use me and manipulate me, slut-shame me, tell me I’m not good enough to be your partner. Well, I’m finally hearing you loud and clear. You don’t want me and that’s fine because I don’t want you either. I’d rather skate alone and risk failing than succeed with you. Winning is absolutely worthless when it comes at the cost of having to hate myself when I’m with you.”
I don’t give him a chance to respond as I head back toward the main waiting area to find Nate. Part of me feels liberated, light, free, but a much bigger, more prominent part feels embarrassed and disappointed I ever thought we could have a partnership.
Standing quickly, Nate rushes toward me the second he spots me approaching. I don’t give him a chance to ask if I’m okay, mainly because I’m worried I’ll cry again, instead, asking him to take me to the hotel to get my things.
I can’t bring myself to look at my phone between the arena and the hotel, but I know it will be blowing up. Thankfully, I haven’t unpacked yet, so I quickly grab my suitcase and hand my key card back to the reception desk, before hopping straight onto the freeway back to Maple Hills.
I watch my mom’s name flash up for the millionth time, ignoring it until it goes to voice mail. Nathan hasn’t said anything, but his hand has been moving between my leg and the back of my neck since we got into the car, stroking gently, the occasional comforting squeeze to let me know he’s here for me.
The radio cuts off as my dad’s name flashes up on the screen, letting us know there’s an incoming call. “They’re going to be mad at me. They spent so much money on this outfit a—”
“They won’t be mad, baby. They’re obviously worried about you. Can I answer?”
I give him a nod and he accepts the call. “Hey.”
“Nate, I’m sorry to bother you. I don’t suppose you’ve spoken to Annie, have you? Julia has been calling her but no answer. We were watching the streaming, she looked so distraught. Between me and you, Julia is very upset.”
“She’s with me.” He looks toward me quickly, then looks back at the road. “She’s asleep. She’s very upset, and she’s exhausted herself. We’re on our way back to Maple Hills, she, uh, she wasn’t very happy that Aaron kissed her. It wasn’t part of the routine, and I, uhm, I’m not sure she’s going to want to be his skate partner anymore.”
I don’t like the idea of making Nate lie to my parents, but I’m not ready to face them.
“I’m not surprised,” he gruffs. “The ice pack…”
Nate clears his throat. “I punched him. But I want you to know I—”
Before he can even finish explaining he isn’t a violent person, Dad interrupts. “No explanation required. Well justified, I believe. We’re so proud of her, she was phenomenal until he ruined it. Get her to call us when she’s awake, please. We want to make sure she’s okay. We can fly to LA if she wants us to, but no pressure.”
My parents despise flying, so the fact they’re offering has me on the brink of tears again. The only thing stopping me is the fact I’m supposed to be asleep, and therefore can’t be wailing in the background of a call.
Nate gives my thigh a squeeze. “I will. Thanks for calling.”