“Stas, are you okay? Can you say something? You need to hold on, I’m going to pull you out,” I tell her frantically, voice wobbling with every syllable.
Nothing.
I shuffle backward, edging myself closer to safer ground, ignoring the sting of the cold through my clothes, pulling the rope tightly until I feel the resistance of her body against the edge. I’m panting, swearing, close to tears, but I keep tugging and finally,finally, her body begins to slide across the ice. I keep going until I see her skates and I know her whole body is out. When we’re far enough away from the danger, I stand and rip the ring off her, rolling her onto her back.
Her lips are blue, delicate features deathly pale with her eyes closed tight.
“Anastasia?” I cry, pressing my ear to her to listen for a murmur, a breath, anything.
She isn’t breathing.
My body starts moving on its own, tilting her chin up and pinching her nose, lowering my mouth to hers and blowing until her chest rises. I tug at the zip of her jacket, but it’s frozen, so I pull until it splits apart, placing my linked hands on her sternum, pressing down rhythmically until it’s time to blow again.
Her chest rises and falls, but then it rises again, and she begins to splutter, coughing and retching, choking out all the water.
“Oh my God. I thought I’d lost you,” I whisper, scooping her up in my arms. Her eyes close again, but she’s breathing on her own, which gives me enough time to cover her in the coat I’d pulled off earlier and run toward the house.
Taking two stairs at a time, I speed toward the bathroom, wanting more than anything to stop her violently shivering in my arms. She still hasn’t said anything; I have no choice but to place her on the bath edge to pull off her skates. Ensuring she’s stable, I turn toward the shower to turn it on at the right temperature.
“Nate,” she whispers, lips a slightly more human shade compared to the blue.
“I’m here.” I try to reassure her, desperately trying to keep the emotion from my voice. I usher her under the warm water, focusing on the center of her body, wincing when she hisses and begins to cry. “I know it stings. I’m so sorry, baby.” The shower is only on a mildly warm setting, but to her, it’ll be like standing under a boiled kettle.
Stripping off her coat and sweatshirt, I wish more than anything that we could go back in time to yesterday, when undressing her was fun and filled with laughter.
She lifts her arms slowly, allowing me to rid her of underlayers. “You’re doing so good, Stas, so good. I’m so fucking proud of you, it’s going to be okay. We will get you warmed up and I’ll get you a doctor. You’re okay.”
I up the temperature a little and crouch to pull off her pants and socks until she’s naked under the spray, her skin still freezing cold under my hands.
The adrenaline is subsiding, the reality of what happened kicking in as she stands before me sobbing, holding onto her body. I shed my own clothes until I’m naked, too, and step toward her, pulling her body to mine, cranking the temperature up a bit more, trying to soothe her as she cries.
Her head tilts up and her eyes meet mine properly for the first time, they’re swimming in tears, but the terror from earlier is gone, replaced with confusion. “I thought I was going to die.”
I can’t stop my own eyes from streaming, because I thought she was going to die too.
I press my lips against hers gently, letting my forehead rest against the crown of her head when we break apart. “I promised you I’d never drop you or let you drown, Anastasia. I will always be there to save you.”
Her arms tighten around my waist and her breath hitches as I turn the shower up a little more. The color is returning to her cheeks and the tears are slowing down. She gnaws on her lip as I wipe beneath her eyes.
“I love you, Nathan.” She clears her throat a few times, trying to clear the raw, gravelly sound. “And this isn’t some, I don’t know, trauma response. I’m in love with you, and that’s what I thought when I fell through that ice. How I’ve known for so long and I hadn’t even told you. How I was going to die and you weren’t going to know, and I was so mad at myself. I love you and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when I realized.”
Three times she said it and my brain still hasn’t processed it.
“I love you too.” I finally manage to stammer out. “I’m so fucking in love with you, Anastasia.”
* * *
I wakefrom my nightmare with a jump, frantically looking around me. Stassie is fast asleep, hooked up to multiple machines that tell me she’s okay, not dead like she was in my dream.
Vail Health Hospital is not where I was expecting to wake up on Christmas morning, but I wasn’t expecting my girlfriend to drown, either, so I’ll let the impromptu trip to the ER slide.
As soon as she stopped shivering, I redressed her with as many layers as her fragile body could support and bundled her into the car to take her to the hospital.
I was expecting to be yelled at for not ringing an ambulance, which is what I should have done, but I imagine they took one look at my stressed face and thought better of it.
The doctor commended me for safely bringing her body temperature back up and gave her the all clear after checking her over.
She heardall clearand thought it was time to go home, not realizing that neither the medical staff nor I was letting her go anywhere. I haven’t left her side since yesterday; I even resorted to waving my card around until the hospital upgraded her and provided me with a bed for her room so I didn’t need to leave.