“I won’t forgive him for those things. I think he feels guilty now, all these years later. I think I’ve already told you Dad owns our house in Maple Hills—he bought it at the end of freshman year. He paid for our garage to be converted into a room for Robbie. Wheelchair-accessible bathroom and all the shit he needs. It was strange, we’d been struggling to find somewhere suitable to live, and suddenly I got a phone call to say he’d bought a house on Maple Avenue, and it’d be renovated in time for sophomore year.”
“I’m sorry, Nathan. That’s…a lot.”
He gives me my favorite smile and pulls me to his warm body, tightening his arms around me and kissing my forehead. “It’s okay, there are people that have it far worse than me. I’m not ignorant enough to think I’m not completely privileged, and it’s the definition of first-world problems. But he’s taught me everything not to do as a dad…so our kids will be fine. Wait no, wait, that didn’t come out right. Oh God.”
Now it’s my turn to blush. He’s stilled beneath me and neither of us is saying anything. What the fuck do you say to that exactly? Wine drunk Stassie is not the person for this conversation because for some reason what’s in my head is not what comes out of my mouth. “I want to adopt.”
He clings to me a bit tighter. “Sounds good to me.”
“I always wanted to anyway but pushing out your big-ass baby would absolutely wreck my vagina. Like, totally destroy it.”
“Noted.”
* * *
I’m still half-asleepwhen I roll over and reach toward Nathan’s side of the bed, finding a piece of paper instead of him.
Running a top-secret errand, but I won’t be long.
Enjoy snooping.
N
PS I made you a smoothie, it’s in the fridge
I have so many options of things to do I don’t know what to do first. Starting with the smoothie, I stand in my new favorite spot, looking out at the back of the house. It looks like something out of a Christmas card it’s that beautiful. It doesn’t feel like real life.
It takes me all of ten seconds to realize what I want to do. Rushing to find my skates and jacket, I head out of the door toward my new favorite rink.
I’m not even dancing, I’m just enjoying the view, which is when I spot a deer watching me from the woods in the distance. Living in LA for the past few years has sucked after being spoiled by living in Washington my whole life.
The closest thing to wildlife in Maple Hills is frat row.
It walks across the frozen ground, running between the trees, so I skate a little closer. I forgot to ask Nathan where this part of the lake leads to, but it’s straight out of a movie the way the trees are overhanging with tiny frozen drops hanging from each branch.
The deer is still watching me from the trees as I get to the edge of the woods, but then my phone rings and it races off. I pull off my glove and bring the phone to my ear, unimpressed. “Hello?”
“Hey, where are you?” Nate asks. “I just got back, and I can’t find you.”
“I’m trying to make friends with a deer, but your call scared it off,” I grumble, scanning the trees.
“A deer? Where are you?”
“Skating by the edge of the woods. I was going to have a Snow White moment and everything.”
“Anastasia, it isn’t saf—”
But I don’t hear the rest of what he has to say.
Because the ice cracks beneath my feet and the water paralyzes my entire body the second my head goes under.
THIRTY-EIGHT | NATHAN
I never wantedto be the man fighting his way through a store on Christmas Eve, but here I am.
I’m surrounded by panicked-looking men, frantically pointing at every surface, clearly buying things they were supposed to buy weeks ago.
I’d ordered Stassie’s main present to be delivered to the house, so I didn’t have to try to travel with it, but the delivery driver arrived when Sasha wasn’t in, and Dad rejected the delivery saying it was a mistake.