But she couldn’t face up to it. Not yet.
The flush sounded out. It was a waste of water, seeing as she hadn’t actually used the toilet, but it felt weird to walk out the cubicle without flushing. Everyone would know.
‘Kept us waiting,’ Finn said.
‘Everything alright in there?’ Conor asked.
‘Yep,’ she lied.
The brothers looked at each other as Tammy took a seat opposite them. Someone had cleared away the remnants of their meal.
‘When are you going to learn?’ Finn asked. ‘We always know when something’s wrong.’
‘Fine. I’m anxious. OK. Look,’ Tammy said, ‘I don’t think I can go back to Liberty. Not right now. Maybe not ever.’
‘Not ever?’ Conor asked, surprised.
‘I don’t know. I haven’t decided. My father… seeing him there, it just doesn’t feel the same anymore.’ Tammy thought about the blood results she’d received. The stressed-out town. Her mission to save them. Maybe she was taking on too much. She needed to save herself instead.
‘Alright,’ Finn said. ‘Where do you want to go?’
She sighed. ‘I have no idea.’
Conor held up his hands. ‘You know what? Fuck this. Why should we feel bad? What have we done wrong, the three of us?’
‘Nothing,’ Finn agreed.
‘We’ve been working hard at the bar,’ Conor chipped in. ‘Keeping up everyone’s spirits after a really tough year.’
‘Not just that,’ said Finn. ‘We’ve been electricians and builders and firefighters and feck knows what else.’
Conor continued. ‘And you’ve been working as a doctor without a proper surgery — working your ass off to help people stay healthy in the middle of nowhere. We don’t deserve to feel miserable. None of us.’
‘We deserve a damn holiday.’
Tammy felt suddenly excited. Maybe theyshouldhave a holiday. It wasn’t exactly the same as running away from her problems. Just… putting them off for a couple days. Her father was supposedly staying at Liberty until she gave the word for him to leave, but if he got tired of waiting for her and decided to leave anyway, then that was no bad thing, right? How much was screaming at him really going to achieve, anyway? Maybe it was best to let her relationship with him just…. fizzle out. ‘OK,’ she said, quietly. ‘Let’s have a holiday.’
‘Let’s find a hotel,’ Finn suggested.
Tammy nodded, feeling more and more excited. ‘OK. But nowhere yucky, please! I’m not in the mood for a cockroach-infested motel right now.’
Conor laughed. ‘Don’t worry, I have an idea. Something nice that won’t completely annihilate the bank.’
Finn laughed too, but his chuckles turned into coughs. Tammy looked at him, concerned. They couldn’t spend too long away from Liberty — Finn’s medicine was due to come soon, and she was keen to start the treatment.
Conor looked at his phone for a while, searching for someplace to stay.
‘I wonder what kind of weird, sports-themed shithole Conor’s gonna find for us,’ Finn joked.
‘Please no sports bars,’ Tammy said.
‘How about glamping?’
‘Glamping?’ Tammy echoed, the unfamiliar syllables not meaning anything to her.
‘It means glamorous camping,’ Conor said.
Tammy couldn’t help by smile at the idea of Conor being involved inanythingthat could be described as glamorous. And she couldn’t work out how camping could really be described as glamorous, either. She raised an eyebrow.