‘Where did you go?’
‘Florida,’ Conor filled in. ‘Seemed like some kind of utopia to our young brains, probably because of Disney World. Course, we never made it there.’
‘What about your dad? I thought you’d all gone off together.’
The pain was still fresh, still raw for Finn. He’d hated his dad, but he’d loved him too.
‘He vanished. Apparently, he went to New York to look for Ma. He thought we’d have taken her there because we always talked about wanting to go.’
‘Which is exactly why wedidn’tgo to New York,’ Conor said.
‘We didn’t find out for years, though. We got a call one day. He owed a lot of dangerous people a lot of money. It didn’t… end well for him.’
‘Oh my god, I’m so sorry.’ Tammy looked completely blown apart by these revelations. There was something so strange about talking through all this heavy stuff in a fast-food joint.
The next words almost broke Finn’s heart. ‘It didn’t end well for Ma, either. Didn’t stick to her methadone program. She couldn’t find a doctor who could prescribe the stuff. Us being all naive kids – we didn’t really think things like that through.’
‘No,’ Tammy said. ‘Your mom was so sweet.’
‘She was,’ Finn said. His voice cracked. ‘She was a victim.’
‘I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.’ Tears were rolling down Tammy’s cheeks.
‘We woulda told you, just, not the kind of thing you drop on someone after not seeing them for ten years.’
‘Sure,’ she said. ‘I don’t blame you.’
‘Anyway,’ Finn said, fighting back the tears, ‘after Ma died, all three of us had to grow up pretty fast. We stopped squabbling and just go on with things. We stuck together like glue, anddidmove to New York in the end. You know the rest.’ He paused for a moment. He’d been so lost in the telling of the story that he almost lost sight of the point. ‘My best guess is that your father thought that we were abusers like our dad. Or addicts like both our parents.’
‘Feck,’ Conor said. ‘I bet he thoughtwewere beating her up.’
‘Your father, fucked-up as he might be, is probably just trying to protect you,’ Finn said. ‘But you’ve got to know, we wouldneverlay a finger on you. Not just that, after what happened to Ma, all three of us vowed to never be violent. Ever.’
‘Believe me, last night, with Shay, I wasthis closeto breaking that vow.’ Conor held up a thumb and forefinger to show her just how close it had been.
‘Guys,’ Tammy said, holding out a hand to each of them, ‘I know that. You’re not responsible for what your parents did. You tried to help.’
When she squeezed, Finn felt a surge of hope. Maybe things were going to be alright. Then, for a moment, as if to purposefully destroy his mood, he imagined Shay here too.
And despite it all, he missed his fecking brother.
CHAPTER 12
It was a lot to take in. The revelations about the Healy’s family lives were reverberating around Tammy’s head, making her feel like her view of the world had just shifted.
She was in the bathroom of Whataburger, struggling to pee. For a moment, she considered calling the brothers, asking them to stand outside the door again. But it wasn’t them she wanted.
It was Shay.
She had to talk to him. Had to understand his actions. Because the picture of Shay that was emerging from Finn’s story — a man who’d do anything to protect his mother, who cared deeply for his family — just didn’t square up with the actions he’d taken since coming back into Tammy’s life.
But… why did Shay tell Conor and Finn that she wasn’t into them? It was so obvious that shewas. She was into all three of them, truth be told.
Tammy needed to talk to her dad, too. Technically, he’d been right not to divulge anything about Finn and Conor’s mom’s problems to her. But she couldn’t help but feel as though if she’d known what the brothers were going through, she could have at least understood why they left in the way they had.
They hadn’t run away from her. They ran away to save their mom.
Tammy felt almost sick with worry. They should probably go back to Liberty now. She should face up to her father. Have an argument. Kick and scream. Get all those years of being a victim out of her system. Show her father that he couldn’t hurt her anymore.