She saw the emotion in his eyes and was close to being swept up in it. Those beautiful blue eyes, which he shared with his brother, were so expressive, so big. It felt as though she couldn’t resist. Not only that – she didn’t want to resist.
He held out his hand and she took it. Then, a moment later, Finn held both of their hands in his. He was technically the eldest, the protector.
They breathed together, sharing each other’s warmth. But then, quickly, she pulled her hand away.
‘We can’t just pick up where we left off, can we? So much has changed. We’ve all grown up. Except… I’m not the person you think I am. I’ve changed. Or rather, Ihaven’t.’
‘What do you mean, Tamster?’ Finn asked tenderly. ‘Is there something you need to tell us?’
She breathed in deep. She’d never told anyone this before. When her father worked it out, it had been a disaster for her. Still, if she couldn’t come clean about who she was in a place like Liberty, where would she ever be able to?
‘I’m… I’m a Little.’ She gritted her teeth, waiting for the inevitable teasing to begin.
‘Wait — that’s the big secret? That’s what you meant by “I’m not the person you think I am”?’
She nodded.
For a moment, Conor and Finn matched her serious expression. Then, unable to compose themselves any longer, they both burst out laughing. There. She knew they were going to be mean.
‘Ofcourseyou are!’ Finn said. ‘We’ve suspected that for… well for about as long as we’ve known you. And you being here… well, we never doubted it, Tammy.’
‘Do you think I’m a loser?’
‘Are you kidding?’ Conor asked, incredulous. ‘Not a chance. We think you’re a massive winner. We love Littles. And the fact that you’re comfortable enough with who you are to be open about your identity is as cool as feckin’ ice.’
‘Unlike you,’ Finn teased, ‘who’s about as cool as lava.’
‘But you always used to tease me about playing with toys and being childish.’ Tammy was confused.
‘Course we did. That’s just who we are. Mischievous. Playful,’ Conor pronounced. ‘Doesn’t mean we didn’t admire you for that stuff, too, though. For being so sweet and innocent and true to yourself.’
‘So, you… like that about me?’
They both nodded, and Tammy felt the warm buzz of acceptance in her tummy.
‘You know what?’ Finn said. ‘You might be a Little, Tammy, but you’re a grown-up too. So… why don’t we do something we never got the chance to do when we were kids?’
Shirtless shih tzus.
Tammy felt her heart start to race. He was talking about sex. Hehadto be talking about sex. She’d thought about it so many times — had fantasized about it for hours. But now that she was here with the two of them, she didn’t know if she was anywhere near close to being ready.
‘I don’t know if I’m ready to be… physical with you guys,’ she said. ‘There’s a lot to process an—’
Finn started to chuckle. ‘I’m talking about going for a drink.’
‘Jeez, Tammy, you’re a very naughty girl,’ Conor chipped in. ‘That’s where your mind went to, huh? S. E. X.? Holy moly, youhavechanged.’
‘You’re impossible!’ Tammy grunted, gently cuffing Conor on the shoulder.
‘Impossibly great,’ Finn said with a wink.
CHAPTER 6
Writers have a bit of reputation when it comes to drink. From Hemmingway to Bukowski, from Sartre to Joyce, there is a history of great literary figures being overly enamored with booze.
Not Finn Healy, though. He barely touched the stuff. He’d seen what drink had done to people close to him, and it had scared him off ever drinking more than a single pint. Maybe that’s why he’d never had any luck with any publishers.
Maybe it’s just because you couldn’t write your way out of a fecking paper bag. You’ve got about as much talent as one of those damn beer coasters.