‘It’ll all be sorted soon.’
Shay looked around Haze’s office. The room was plush, warm, and decorated with Billie’s striking artwork — huge canvasses up on the walls, full of color and passion.
‘You had time to sort this place out,’ Shay sneered.
‘Don’t push me, Shay. I know you care about her—’
‘No I don’t,’ Shay spat. ‘It’s nothing personal. I just care about, you know, people in general.’
Haze gave him a knowing look. ‘The fact is, right now, I’m dealing with a ton of issues. I just don’t have time to fix up the surgery at the click of my fingers.’
Shay crossed his arms. ‘What issues?’
Haze sighed. ‘Remember when the generators packed in at Christmas?’
Shay nodded. It had been a disaster — had almost ruined the festive period completely.
‘Well, it turns out, you can’t just hook up expensive modern generators to an old-fashioned power network without things going very, very bad. I’m working like mad to keep the power on. But there are other problems too. Subsidence in some of the buildings. Flood risk from the lake.’ He paused. ‘I’m sorry I’m not doing a better job. Making this town habitable is so much more work than I’d ever imagined. And so much more expensive. But I’m doing my best.’
Shay nodded. As angry as he was, he believed Haze. The guy was something of a mystery, but he’d always been honest.
But that honesty didn’t help with the issue of Tammy’s surgery. He’d been shocked when he’d visited last night. Shay hated the thought of Tammy being cold. Hated to think of her eating crappy microwave meals because her gas oven didn’t work.
‘Well, I guess I’ll have to sort things out myself. If you’ll let me borrow a spare key.’
‘That’s a good idea. And I promise you, as soon as I can, I’ll fix up the surgery.’
‘You better had,’ Shay said. ‘Otherwise this place — a supposed sanctuary — is gonna get a reputation for being the exact opposite of that.’
He didn’t say another word. He didn’t have any more time to waste. He had to sort stuff before his idiot brothers brought Tammy back to her place.
Luckily, it didn’t take long to make the place a little more homely. He chopped a stack of firewood and left it in a neat pile next to the stove, as well as getting a bunch of kindling and some firelighters. He even lit the fire, and got the place a little warm.
He grabbed a load of food from the pub kitchen and brought it across to Tammy’s place. He placed a pot of stew on the top of the quickly-warming wood-burner and put the rest of the food in a chill-box in the kitchen. It should last her a good few days at the least, and hopefully, Haze would at least be able to get her a fridge by then.
After the buzz of activity, he took a moment just tobehere. He could smell Tammy in the space. It had been so long, but he still felt the exact same way as he’d done when he was a kid. That intense need to protect, that intense desire for her, and that insane jealousy of his brothers for getting so close to her.
‘I’ll never be good enough for you,’ he said under his breath.
Before leaving, he went to check everything looked OK upstairs. No dry rot or walls about to collapse.
Tammy had the place set up to be as cozy as it could be, under the circumstances. She had her clothes out on a rail by her bed, and a couple books strewn across her bedside table. There was also a goldfish stuffie — one he remembered from when they were teenagers — on top of the covers. Even though he knew he shouldn’t, he walked up to the stuffie.
‘Hello, Goldie,’ he said, giving it a little stroke. ‘I never really got to play with you and Tammy — not in the way I wanted to. I hope you’re doing alright.’ He tucked the goldfish under the covers, just to keep her a little bit warm.
It was stupid, but he couldn’t help himself.
Just like always.
She’d never know it, but he loved her. Always had done. She’d never know it, but he’d always protected her. Right from the start.
*
As Finn walked Tammy back to her place, the two of them barely exchanged a word. It was painful for him. When they’d been kids, there was nothing that he wouldn’t share with her. Now though, it was like there was a sheet of glass between them.
For a while, today, as they’d joked together with Conor, it had felt like that sheet of glass had cracked a little. But now it was back.
As they approached the Doctor’s surgery where she was staying, to Finn’s surprise, she spoke.