Bradley, who normally took the bait when pressed, only came over to sit beside her and put his arm around her.
Andthere went the tears again…
Something about the weight of his strong arm, about the way he tugged her against his side broke her down. It was a sense of belonging she’d never felt at her home, something she’d craved her entire life, and yet here he was offering it without hesitation.
Did he evenknowhow much it meant to her? Probably. Despite Bradley not saying much, he seemed to know everything.
“It’s okay,” he said softly.
Olin sat on her other side and rubbed her back in soothing circles despite the way she sobbed. His voice was soft and warm, like honey gliding over the raw places inside her. “I’m sorry you went through that.”
She sniffled, trying to hold in the tears, especially as her father’s words about her hysterics came back to her.Don’t show anyone who you really are. They won’t like it.
The words she’d heard so many times as a kid circled her brain, leaving gouges in it as they passed. She’d worked her whole life at trying to act up just to prove something, anything. “I acted up a lot just so they’d get mad,” she said.
Dean pulled over a chair to sit in it, placing him right in front of her. “Why?”
“Because if I was doing that, they were at least paying attention to me. And every time I tried to do what I thought they wanted, it never worked. No matter what I did, I was never good enough. So I figured, why try? Why try to fit into that little box they’d created for me if I never succeeded? If they hated me, at least it was because of this image of myself I created, so they rejected that and notme.”
Dean sighed, then took her chin between his fingers, his touch gentle. “You’ll drive yourself into the ground trying to be what people want, trying to live up to their expectations. It’s a game you can’t win, Kat, especially if those expectations are impossible. You know why?”
“Because I suck,” she said, knowing she was whining and just not caring.
He shook his head. “No. Because your parents want you to be small. They want you to be simple, like them. You aren’t small, though, and that’s why no matter what you do, how much you twist yourself up into nothing, it’ll never work. You’ll never be what they want, and that’s okay. You want to know the funny part? You don’thaveto be what they want. They gave birth to you, but you don’t owe them jack shit. You took care of yourself, put yourself through school, did it all without them, so if they don’t like it? Well, fuck them. You’d never let anyone else put you down like this.”
Kat sighed as she listened to the same words she’d said to herself enough times. Hearing something and believing it were two very different things. She knew this all, knew that her parent’s expectations were unreasonable, but that never stopped her from wanting it. “I just want to feel like I belong,” she said softly. “I’ve spent my whole life being the one who was too much, being the person who causes problems, who everyone has some funny story about when I fucked things up. If even my own parents can’t respect me, can’t see me as something good, can’t even love me, what hope do I have?”
Dean didn’t answer at first, his blue eyes unwavering as he stared at her. Finally, he curled his lips into a smirk that held an edge of cruelty. “Oh, Kat, you shouldn’t have said that.” Before she could ask, Dean came forward and took her lips in a kiss. Despite what a mess her face must have been, despite the tears and the puffy eyes and the overly emotional baring of her soul, Dean kissed her as if he were starving for her touch. He broke the contact only long enough to whisper, “Guess you’re about to learn that what those fuckwits think of you doesn’t mean a damned thing. You are wanted, respected and loved byus,and if it takes three Doms to get that point through to you…” He pulled back and grinned. “Well, doesn’t matter how slow a learner you are—this lesson can take all damned night.