Her foot looked so small against him, and again it reminded him that she should have never been at that fucking motel. It never should have happened. From all he’d heard, Kat had been a hellion—sweet and fun and tenacious.
Look what that asshole had done to her…
He tried to push that away and lifted one of the boots. She slipped her foot inside and he worked it up until it fit, then repeated the motion on the other side. By the time he’d finished, it was impossible to ignore the way she trembled.
It made him look up and meet her wide gaze. Her eyes were a strikingly bright gray, which was odd given her light hair and pale skin. She looked almost ethereal.
“Stop it,” she whispered.
Olin sighed and dropped his hands to his side, trying not to crowd her. “I’m not doing anything—just helping you with your shoes.”
Kat all but jumped out of the chair and away, as if terrified at being close at all. Then again, he couldn’t blame her, not after what she’d been through.
Olin had submitted the report, knew what happened, had taken her statement. The only blessing of the whole damned thing was that she hadn’t been raped. No doubt Jerry would have gotten there eventually, but he hadn’t had time. Instead, the sadistic bastard had just taken a knife to her, leaving a long cut from chest to pubic bone with a few others on her lower stomach.
It made Olin swallow, but he remained on his knees. The last thing he wanted was for her to look at him with that same fear.
“You didn’t come here just to tell me that. I don’t know if you’re hoping something will happen or if you just feel bad, but I don’t need you to hover.”
“I don’t think seeing you once since it happened is hovering.”
She offered him a side-eye that said she didn’t find him amusing. “I’m fine, okay? I get it—everyone wants me to break down and cry and lose my shit, but I really am okay.”
“Oh yeah?”I should shut up. I should just let it go.Sadly, Olin hadn’t ever been good at that, and the words kept coming. “Because from what I heard, you haven’t gone back to Sanctuary, haven’t been talking to your friends, have all but fallen off the map. Are you trying to tell me that before this happened, you would have shaken like this? Would have jumped away from someone helping you put your shoes on? You can pretend all you want that nothing happened, but trust me, these things have a way of sneaking up and biting you in the ass if you ignore them.”
Kat stared right at Olin, and he wondered if he’d ever been on his knees in front of a woman before.
Probably, but never like this.
Finally, she shook her head. “How about this? I have to be fine, because the other option is not being fine, and that can’t happen. So I either keep moving forward or I collapse, and Ican’tcollapse.” She said the words with so much force, Olin almost regretted what he’d said.
She was hanging on the only way she knew how, but it still felt like watching someone drinking seawater when thirsty. He could tell her all day long that it would do more harm than good, but that wouldn’t change a thing.
So Olin nodded. “When you’re tired of pretending, just remember you’ve got friends, and I’d like to be one of them.”
Kat gulped then ran from the room, leaving Olin there, kneeling and alone and all the more confused.
He doubted she’d call him, but fuck, he wished she would…
* * * *
How was it that Kat’s house seemed even quieter than it had before? Maybe it was the difference between the noise of the doctor’s office, the sound of Olin’s voice—the general clatter of the outside world that made her recognize just how silent her house was.
And shehatedit.
She had never liked silence or quiet houses. Maybe that was why she was used to talking so much, to filling the space with prattle. Silence was deafening and dangerous. It was impossible to judge how a person felt or thought if they were quiet.
However, no matter how badly she wanted to call someone, just the thought made her stomach churn.
The conversation with Olin replayed in her head, the way he’d looked at her. Why was it that no matter how much she told herself nothing had happened, she couldn’t stop her reactions?
Kat had faced down countless Doms without the slightest bit of fear. How many times had she stood toe-to-toe with men far larger than her, both in Sanctuary and outside of it? Sheneverflinched.
And now? When Olin had helped with her shoes, she’d trembled.
Her anxiety had grown until it sat like a ball of electricity inside her stomach, writhing and impossible to ignore. It had her going into her bedroom and reaching for the cannabis drops a friend had given her months before. They were supposed to help a person relax, and while she hadn’t ever indulged before, was there a better time than now?
Maybe they could take the edge off and help her sleep. Wouldn’t that be something? Sleeping through the night without waking up with a gasping scream?