And Kat wasn’t sure she could handle getting to the punchline of it.
* * * *
Dean frowned as he walked through the house, checking on everyone. It was a holdover from his youth, a habit formed from living in places where he never knew if he was safe.
Hell, it had taken him years to be able to sleep more than an hour or so at a time.
Still, he found each time he woke, he couldn’t fall back asleep until he checked the doors and windows, until he knew the house was secure.
Which meant he found himself doing so around three in the morning.
He didn’t even curse himself for the behavior anymore. What was the point? It was just a part of him, just a ritual he had to do to feel comfortable.
And…of course…he couldn’t deny the need might have grown a bit since sleeping not so far from Kat. Before his big point had always been to ensure his own safety, but now? Now he felt the need to check on that frustrating woman, to know she was safe and sleeping well.
Except, when he peeked into her open door, he found her bed empty. A moment of panic hit him, the thoughts of what could have happened to her, of where she could have gone swirling in his head.
Before the panic could take him entirely, however, the sound of water from her private bathroom eased him.
Though… a shower at this time wasn’t normal behavior either. He stood there for a moment, wondering if he should just let her be. Maybe he should turn around and take his ass back to bed. She was fine, and if she wanted to shower in the middle of the night, what business of his was that?
Except, his feet wouldn’t move. A quick glare at them didn’t help—it seemed at least a part of him refused to leave without ensuring she was okay.
He cursed himself as he went into the room and knocked softly on the door.
No answer.
He tried once more, louder, before figuring she couldn’t hear him above the water. He twisted the handle and opened the door, met with a blast of steam that said she’d turned the water far too hot.
The clear glass of the shower had fogged up, turning Kat into a silhouette, but he could still make out the generalities. She stood there, one hand against the tile of the shower, the other covering her face. Her shoulders didn’t shake, didn’t show signs of tears, but the exhaustion that hung on her was obvious.
Poor girl… Dean considered all the times she’d said she was fine, that there were no problems, that nothing had happened. He didn’t believe her, of course, but he couldn’t deny some amount of respect for holding up that front for as long as she had.
There was no doubt she was suffering, trying so hard to keep it to herself that she would run herself ragged just for the chance to keep up pretenses.
And Dean had grown tired of it. He was sick of seeing her fall apart, of seeing her let herself get weaker, more run down, all for what?
He slid his pajama bottoms off, the action leaving him nude, then opened the door to the shower.
The squeaking of the hinges alerted Kat, because she twisted so fast she was lucky not to slip. Still, those wide eyes narrowed when she spotted him.
Annoyance is better than panic, right?
“What are you doing here?” she asked, a quiver to her voice telling her she wasn’t quite holding it all together.
“Look, some of us care about the environment. Taking long showers alone makes Mother Earth cry.” He offered her a smile like some consolation prize, the joke stupid but better than the truth.
She glared at him but didn’t argue. At least, she didn’t until he dropped his gaze down her front, the first time he saw what Jerry had actually done to her.
And the pain in his own chest hit him hard enough he had to fight to keep his face blank. She had one long cut that went from the center of her breasts down, over her stomach, and to her pubic bone. He’d seen the bottom of it before, but not the entirety, not the truth of it. There were a few other cuts, none as long or deep as the largest.
Kat dropped her gaze, shame coloring those gray eyes of hers and breaking his heart. She went to turn, to hide, but Dean refused to let her.
He caught her arm, keeping her facing him. “Don’t hide.”
She opened her mouth as though she were going to argue with him, but Dean didn’t want to let her gather her wits, to create distance between them, not right then when he felt so raw, so he silenced her with a gentle kiss.
Kat melted, as if his kiss could do something the hot water hadn’t.