“Maybe, but it is what it is. I ended up demoted and was on a probation period for almost a year. I damn near lost my job over it. So, no, I can’t do that again, I can’t risk that again.”
“How did they even find out?”
“No idea. My boss isn’t the sort to go there, but the world is a lot smaller than we like to think.”
“But what if—”
He shook his head. “Even if I just played privately, not at a club, it would just hurt too much. I’d just think about what I want that I can’t have, and you’d never be happy with the fact I’d never be able to go to Sanctuary, that I couldn’t be a part of your world there.”
She opened her mouth to say that wasn’t true, but the words wouldn’t come. Him just watching that time had been difficult enough—could she really be happy if he just never went? If he never touched her there? If what that became a dirty secret between them?
No… He was right. Kat wouldn’t be content with them having to hide in that way.
Olin let out a rough laugh that brought her gaze back to his. “It wasn’t as hard to leave as you might think. I didn’t have anything serious with anyone, didn’t really miss it that much, all things considered. Even in the years since, when I’ve missed that, when something’s been missing in any relationship I’ve tried, I’ve never regretted it until now.”
“Now?”
He offered her a crooked smile that melted her. “You’re the first girl who makes me wonder if the risk could be worth it, who could tempt me to just fuck it and give in.”
On the heels of that hope, however, Olin’s next words dashed it all.
“But I can’t do that. No matter how badly I want you—how much I wantthis—I can’t go down that road again.”
His quietsorrywas the last thing he said before he retreated yet again, leaving her alone like he always did, and Kat sighed.
Maybe there were some problems that just had no solution…
* * * *
Dean sat at the table across from Olin. The sun had started to set, but Kat was still outside. The property had enough cameras for them to easily spot where she was, and no doubt she needed some time alone.
It had been three days there together, and they’d all finally fallen into a routine. Bradley worked the most, up early and working until dinner, but he never failed to arrive back at the house with a sense of contentment.
Dean understood that. It was what his job did for him as well. It gave him a sense of worth, a feeling that he had a place in a hectic and ever moving world.
He’d had to push off some of his own cases to his colleagues, but most of it he’d been able to work remotely with. It let him stay there with Kat and the others for as long as he needed to.
“Anything new?” Dean asked.
Olin shook his head. “Newest body is like the others. Jerry is covering his ass well.”
“Why? We already have him dead to rights on abducting Ell and Kat. Why be so careful now?”
“Because the manpower used to track down some gang leader who kidnapped two women but didn’t kill them is a lot different from the heat that comes down on a serial killer. If he can keep his nose clean on these charges, he won’t get found so fast.”
Dean sighed, the answer expected but still frustrating. Theyknewexactly who was behind this, but without knowing where he was, without proof, there wasn’t much they could do.
“How’s Kat doing?” Dean asked.
“As well as can be expected. The girl is resilient.”
“That she is. Damn shame that she needs to be.”
Olin nodded as if he agreed. Knowing someone was tough was one thing, but no doubt they’d both rather she didn’t have to go through this all.
“About you and her…”
“Stop that right there,” Olin said when Dean trailed off. “There is no she and I.”