“You were the one who threw down the gauntlet—or are you all talk?” The sexy curl of Olin’s lips made Kat’s cheeks heat, made her struggle to remember why it was such a terrible idea.
Olin was handsome, apparently a Dom from what she knew, and he knew little about her. It felt like a restart to her life that she desperately craved. She could go with him, pretend like nothing with Jerry had happened and maybe find something she felt like she’d lost.
“O-okay,” she said. “I’ll have them put you on the guest list.”
Olin waved her off. “No need. I’ll call Toya this evening.”
Toya?If Kat needed any proof as to if Olin were telling the truth or not, there it was. He had to be in some sort of contact with the owner of Sanctuary to speak of her so casually, to know he could just call her up to be put on the list. Just how connected to Sanctuary had he been?
What was she getting herself into? Her fears and wants swirled together, entangling, making it difficult to pull one from another, to figure it out. The happy times at Sanctuary mixed with her memory of Jerry. The pleasure she’d felt, the times she’d fallen so deep into subspace that she never wanted to leave, they competed with that crushing loneliness the place held when she left alone every night.
Sanctuary was a place of extremes, and Kat wanted to go back just as much as she wanted to avoid it.
A weight on her hand made her realize Olin had set his over hers. She lifted her gaze to his, to find a comforting smile. “It’s just a trip there. I’m not expecting anything.”
Him voicing exactly what she’d feared helped her pull in a deep breath and nod.
Right.
Because trips to BDSM sex clubs with attractive Doms always ended innocently…
* * * *
Kat couldn’t bring herself to go into Sanctuary. She’d done it so many times before, yet somehow, she struggled to find the strength. Instead, she sat at one of the tables outside, far enough away from the main walkway that no one would notice her.
Why was she being such a coward?
Because they’ll all see that I’m different.
That kept running through her head, that they’d all see right through the part she played. She’d spent so long creating an image of herself, and the idea of it shattering terrified her. Sanctuary was a place where she’d always felt comfortable, yet now? Now they’d see she was jumpy, now they’d either see the marks if she stripped or notice that she refused to.
Either way, everyone would know.
This was a horrible idea.
Yet…she couldn’t seem to just leave, either, to bail on Olin who she was sure was already waiting inside.
Kat had left without telling Bradley where she was going. Maybe she should have felt guilty about that, but they’d said all of nothing to each other in the days since she’d kicked him out of her room. The memory of how he’d stared at the cuts on her still burned, still made her want to bury herself in a pile of blankets and never come out.
Which meant she had no plans on inviting him.
“Never figured you for a coward.” Dean took a seat beside Kat. “It’s already been twenty minutes that you’ve been out here.”
“It’s a nice night—just enjoying the ambiance.”
He let out a soft laugh. “I know hiding when I see it. I mean, I’m happy that you’re here, but are you sure you’re ready? Because sitting out here doesn’t scream ready.”
Kat sighed, unsure how to answer. “I need to be ready. How is that for an answer?”
“It’s a very Kat answer, at least.” Dean peered to the side, his lips curling up. “Nice outfit.”
Kat looked down at herself, at the bodysuit she’d picked. The coat she’d left in the car had hidden the outfit from Bradley. No doubt he’d realize something was up if she tried to walk out in this.
Plus, most of those would reveal her chest or stomach, and she couldn’t handle that. Instead, she went with a bodysuit cut high to show off her legs but with long sleeves. It prevented a chance of anything moving or showing marks she wasn’t ready to bare to people.
On her feet were a pair of fuzzy boots. She could have gone with heels, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do so. Instead, the softness of the inside of them made her comfortable and steady, things she desperately needed.
“So, are you going to come in?” Dean asked.