"Really, Darren." Piper leaned into my hand and turned her face, pressing her lips to my palm. "I'm fine. I'm...adjusting." She let out a long breath and turned out of my embrace. "It's just hard, you know. I have to be this whole other person now. I'm not just little Piper Billings with no future and no prospects for one. I'm Piper Durand, ex-maid, a vampire’s human servant, and hunter now. It sounds like something out of a movie. Except the ending isn't a happily ever after."
I frowned. "Why do you say that?"
Piper arched a brow at me. "Come on, really? Do you really think this is going to end well for any of us?"
"I don't see why not." I didn't like where she was going with this. If Piper was having doubts, then she might let her guard down, and something might happen to her.
"There are only a few ways this can go," Piper huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Either I'll get killed on the job by another vampire. Or one of the hunters will kill me out of some self-righteous need. Or Vincent will get tired of me and kill me. Or I try to break away from them, and they kill all of you and de facto me. So, see? No one wins. I should just give up now. Save us all the heartache and stress of it."
"No, you shouldn't." I stepped in front of her and grabbed her hands in mine. "The Piper I know wouldn't give up. She wouldn't let all this fear and doubt fill her mind and heart."
"She wouldn't?" Piper leaned her head back to look up at me, her lips twitching with a smile.
"No, she wouldn't." I squeezed her hands.
"And why not?"
I slid my hands around her waist and drew her closer to me, her arms going around my back. "Remember when you told me about your plan?"
"Yeah. You thought I'd lost it." She laughed bitterly.
"But I gave in eventually. Do you know why?" I pressed my forehead against hers and stared into her eyes. Piper shook her head once. "Because you were so sure of yourself. So determined to save everyone, even if that meant dying yourself. And you did it. A little human girl turned vampire servant infiltrated the big bad vampire hunter’s lair and not only saved one of our own but struck a deal with their leader to keep us all safe."
"But at what cost?" Piper murmured, her gaze dropping from mine. "The vampires I killed today. How do I know they were even bad? How do I know I'm not just doing Vincent’s dirty work? They begged for their lives, Darren. And I didn't care. It was them or me."
I cupped her face with my hands and leaned back to meet her troubled gaze. "That's all it is for anyone. Chance. Survival. Maybe they are using you, but we're using them as well. To keep ourselves safe."
"Evil done for a good reason is still evil, Darren." Piper's eye watered, and she blinked them away. "I'm afraid of what I'm going to become if I keep this up. What if by the end there's nothing human left of me?"
"Then, I'll be here to remind you." I lowered my head until my lips brushed hers. "I'll remind you with every touch, every kiss, that you are human and alive. Not some killing machine."
Piper pressed up into my touch, holding me tightly in her arms. When she released me, she blinked up at me and asked, "Promise?"
My heart ached for all the pain and uncertainty I saw in her face. I never wanted this for her. I'd have fought harder to keep her out of it if I had thought she'd listen to me. Now, all I could do was this. I could promise this to her because that's all that I had to give her. If I could ease her suffering just a little, then I would do it ten times over.
"I promise."