“Sawyer, this is Holden, my friend.” At six years old, he shouldn’t be so afraid. He should be curious and happy. It breaks my heart what his parents have done to him.
Holden doesn’t miss a beat, however. Crouching down to eye level with Sawyer, he pulls something from his pocket. “Want to see a magic trick?” Sawyer looks up to me for an answer, so I nod.
Flashing a coin for us to see, Holden then makes it disappear. Reaching behind Sawyer’s ear, it makes its return, and my cousin’s jaw drops. “Wow!” he exclaims, and I can see he wants to reach for the coin but doesn’t. Holden must see it too because he hands it to the boy.
“Hop in, and I’ll take you somewhere they know how to do more magic than that.” Holden opens the door and winks at Sawyer as he marvels at the coin in his tiny fingers. “So, you sold on me yet?”
It’s hard not to be.
“Not even a little bit.” I lie through my teeth. “Look, I’m not sure tonight’s a good night. His parents like him home right after school.” With the way his brows pucker, I know he’s wondering about far more than I want him to right now.
“Please, Noelle!” Sawyer calls from the backseat.
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him so excited that the consequences might be worth it. Nodding to them both, I pull out my phone and text my aunt, letting her know we’re going to a park and out for dinner before coming home.
I shut my phone off, already anticipating the messages that would be forthcoming before I pocket the device.
“Let’s get this show on the road!” I smile on the outside, but inside, I’m cringing and terrified. They aren’t going to be happy.
* * *
Holden
The county carnival was the only place I could think of to bring Noelle and Sawyer, thanks to a radio ad on the way to pick her up. Her resistance to going piqued my curiosity, though. Add in the bruises and her noticeable protectiveness over her cousin, and I’m putting the pieces of her complicated puzzle together, not liking the picture it forms.
“Look at that!” Sawyer points to the man on stilts, juggling in a ridiculous costume, while tugging on Noelle’s hand, dragging her closer. A smile lights her face, but it’s all for Sawyer’s benefit. The boy is oblivious to her stress.
Following after them, I place my hands on her hips, plastering my body to her back. “Enjoy yourself, Noelle. Whatever has you worried, I’ll help.” She stiffens and tries to pull away.
I grew up in a house filled with darkness, tension, and love, which puts me in the prime spot to step in as her protector. I don’t kid myself into thinking I’m a good man; I’m far from it. But watching my dad’s obsession with my mom as I grew up lent me the framework to understand it’s not about who I am but rather if I can love.
Noelle is someone I can love.
I can see a life with her.
“Nobody can help me,” she mumbles, likely not expecting me to hear. However, I’m hyperaware of everything when it comes to Noelle.
Filing her statement away for now, I know I’ll have to prove to her that I can, and I will, help. All in due time. But for today, I'll settle for giving them a carefree afternoon.
Brushing her hair to the side, I lean down and kiss behind her ear, down the column of her throat, and across her shoulder to the bruises I know lay beneath. Noelle is a mystery, one I plan to enjoy unraveling, no matter how long it takes.
Once the clown on stilts has finished his act, Sawyer turns to us, mouth open, to ask a question before looking between us and pausing. Noelle doesn’t miss a beat, though. She’s more in tune with the little boy than I’ve ever seen.
Dropping to her knees, she asks him, “What would you like to do next?”
Leaning into her ear, his swallow is audible as he whispers something to her. The fear that Sawyer has of me is unnerving. I find I dislike it very much. And as much as I plan to earn the trust of his cousin, I have every intention of gaining his as well.
“Sure we can.” Noelle smiles at him as she grabs his hand. “Funnel cakes sound good?” Her pleading eyes turn back to me.
Sounds disgusting.“How about two?” I grin at the boy, and he nods hesitantly. As they walk away, I quickly link my fingers with Noelle’s. She startles and looks up at me before smiling softly and leading the way to the food trucks.
For the next hour, we fill up on the most god-awful food until Sawyer begins to look tired and leans into Noelle as we watch a magic show for beginners. Through the first half, he was engaged and took in everything with an eagle eye, but over the last twenty minutes, he’s been ready to crash.
The evening is still early—only just after seven—and as much as I’m not ready to leave them yet, I know the boy needs his bed. As well as some real food, not this deep-fried shit.
“I think someone might be ready to go.” I gesture to Sawyer’s bobbing head.
Noelle brushes her fingers through his hair before leaning down to kiss the top of his head. “Yeah, he is.” Standing, she picks him up in her arms, shaking her head when I offer to take him. “He’s not ready for that yet.”