Fuck.
Getting over Kaitlyn is gonna be impossible.
Especially since I'm already in love with her.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
KAITLYN
ONE MONTH LATER
Not only have I cut back on caffeine but I also have no appetite.
Which really sucks when I’m used to eating at the B&B every day, and people are starting to notice my absence. My brothers, parents, and a few cousins have asked why I haven't stopped in as much, but Maize has told them I’ve been extra busy with work lately.
I've personally been using the horse rescue and my training schedule as an excuse. Though they are keeping me extra busy, I'm also tired as fuck, so any breaks I get are spent napping in my office.
Payton still texts me throughout the day to check on me. I've only gotten sick a few times, but the nausea is the worst when I'm trying to sleep at night. I knew the first trimester might be rough, but it's even harder not being able to explain why my habits have changed.
I might not be able to keep it hidden for another month with all their suspicions.
On top of all my body's changes, I miss Payton’s touch like crazy. Maybe it's the hormones, but the sex dreams are still occurring too. We still hang out just like old times, except now, he eats in the kitchen while I sit on the couch. The smell of food makes me want to throw up, so he gives me space.
And the worst part—that I didn't anticipate—is the heartburn.
Everything I do manage to get down makes my throat burn. I'm chewing on antacids more than actual food.
At eight weeks, I'm bloated with swollen breasts. I didn't think I'd have this many symptoms so early, but at the same time, I'm relieved because it reminds me I'm having a baby. Finally.
I watch Fancy as she eats and am so grateful that she’s getting healthier and stronger. Zach loves to come and talk to her. I swear, he's a little horse whisperer because Fancy perks up each time she hears his voice.
Because her mane was so tangled, we had to cut it, but it's finally growing back. Zach likes to gently run his hand over her Mohawk each time before he brushes her. It’s their tradition, and I love watching them together. When Fancy arrived a little over a month ago, she was uneasy around people, but I can see how much she trusts Zach. While she still has a long way to go, we’re pleased with her progress.
"Well, I gotta go to an appointment soon," I walk over and tell Zach as he wraps his arms around Fancy’s neck and hugs her. "Do you want me to drive you home?"
"No, I'm gonna stay here for a bit, then I'll get my mom to pick me up," he says, patting his pocket where his cell phone is. "What kinda appointment do you have?"
Nosy-ass kid.
I hate lying, but Zach is too young to understand.
"Just a checkup at the hospital," I say.
"Maybe you’ll see my grandma," he says. River works as a nurse, and my uncle Evan and aunt Emily are doctors in the emergency room.
"It’s possible," I say with a tight smile. But hopefully not.
"Anyway, see ya tomorrow, kiddo," I tell him, ruffling his hair.
"Hey!" He tries to squirm away from me, and I laugh.
As soon as I get home, I rinse off and change. By the time I start blow-drying my hair, Payton's in the shower. I'm so damn nervous that I haven't eaten all day, and even if I had wanted to, I wouldn't be able to keep it down anyway.
"Ready?" he asks, buttoning his jeans.
"Um...missing a shirt?" My mouth waters at the sight of him. Damn him and those abs and tattoos. Seeing him wear those tight dark-wash jeans and cowboy boots has me ready to beg him to knock me up all over again.
"Gotta grab it from the dryer, one second."