I stretched out my hand and he took it. The two of us silently followed Spencer. I didn’t need to look behind me to know that my guards were following me. It was one of those things I was going to have to get used to, I supposed.
“Have you seen her this morning?” I asked.
“Not yet,” Spencer said.
“You think Star can help her?” I asked Alec.
“If anyone has a chance, it’s her,” Alec said. “She figured out an antidote to that toxin. And you’ve seen what else she can do.”
That was part of my concern. What if Star hadn’t been able to help my mom? If she couldn’t, I wasn’t sure anyone else could.
As we continued down hallways lined with doors, and up a few flights of stairs, I considered what I would even say to her. Everything in my mind about my mom was so full of conflict. I wanted to help her, but she was also such a source of pain for me. She might not have been in control, but why did she have to do that to herself in the first place? Why did she flee to Wolf Creek of all places? Why hadn’t she found another way to protect me? I didn’t know if hearing her side of the story would even matter. I wasn’t sure it could fully repair what we’d lost. Yet, I wanted her to have a chance at happiness if I could help her find it.
Spencer’s movements were tense and robotic. He had to be feeling just as much anxiety as I was. Although, he had happy memories with my mom. He would recall her as the way she was, which meant he was in for a shock when he saw her. I wasn’t sure which of us had it worse. I witnessed her descent into madness. For him it came as a surprise.
“This is it,” Spencer said as he stopped in front of a door. We were in another wing of the sprawling home and I wondered what the design purpose was for having random bedrooms spread throughout the place.
Spencer knocked on the door and Alec squeezed my hand. I got a rush of emotion from him. Encouragement, support, sympathy, all of it rolling from him into me like a warm caress. I’d sensed his feelings before, but this was far more intense. That mating bond was no joke. We were supposed to be able to feel each other even when we were apart.
The door swung open and Star greeted us. She had dark circles under her eyes and looked more pale than usual. “Hey.”
“Rough night?” Alec asked.
“You have no idea,” she said. “You thought your detox was rough. She’s got decades of toxin to sweat out.”
“How is she?” I asked.
“She’s not through it yet. She needs more time,” Star said. “I don’t think you should see her yet.”
Disappointment made my stomach tighten. “I understand.”
“What about me?” Spencer asked.
Star shook her head. “It’s not pretty and she’s embarrassed. I think having witnesses will keep her from breaking the hold.”
“Does she remember me?” Spencer asked, desperation in his tone.
“She hasn’t mentioned you,” Star said. “I’m sorry.”
“How much longer?” he asked.
“I’ve never done this before,” she admitted.
“It’s okay, Star. We’ll check back later.” I smiled at her. “Thank you. Sincerely. Thank you.”
She nodded and closed the door. My shoulders fell. That was not what I expected, but I would give her the time to do what needed done.
“Your friends are in the third floor dining room if you’d like to join them,” James said.
“Let’s go,” I said. “We’ll feel better after some food.”
“You told me she was bad,” Spencer said. “But I didn’t realize how bad it was. She was like this your whole childhood?”
“Most of it,” I said. “I have a few happy memories, but she got worse each year until she simply stopped even caring for me at all.”
Spencer shook his head. “I had no idea you were alive. I would have broken out immediately if I’d known.”
“They might have killed you. And me,” I said. “Like you said, you didn’t know.”