“It must be killing him to be around you,” Sheila said.
“Why?” I asked.
“You likely have a similar scent to your mom. Probably makes him miss her more,” she said.
“I can’t say I’ve got a lot of sympathy for him right now,” I said.
“It doesn’t matter,” Kyle cut in. “Forget all the Spencer shit right now. You can’t go if you can’t connect with your wolf. I don’t care what else is at risk. You’re a liability to yourself and everyone else if you can’t get that fixed.”
“He’s right,” Alec said.
“She needs to try the wolf night with the person she trusts the most out of all of us,” Kyle said. “We only get one chance at this.”
My pulse raced. I’d already mentally prepared to spend the evening in the woods as a wolf with Alec. The thought of trying it with someone else sent a rush of panic through me. I already didn’t love the idea of being a wolf for a whole night. Especially if there was a risk of me being stuck like that.
“He’s right,” Sheila said. “Lola, you should choose. Any of us can do it with you. It should be who you feel the safest with. Think about who your wolf would want, too. Not just you in human form.”
“Well, we all know who my wolf wants right now,” I mumbled.
“Lola, it’s okay if you feel safer with someone else,” Alec said. “I want you to connect with your wolf. It doesn’t matter who you do this with as long as it works.”
I looked around at the group of friends who were like a family to me. I trusted each of them with my life. It was so different from where I’d started, and it warmed my heart to feel so supported. When I thought about a whole night in the woods, wolf form or human form, there was only one member of the group I could see myself choosing.
After everything we’d been through, and all the ways he’d hurt me, Alec had proven his loyalty. I felt a connection to him I couldn’t explain. It wasn’t the same as the way I felt around my other friends. I needed to be around him the same way I needed to breathe.
“I’ll go with you,” I told Alec. “It was your idea, and I do trust you.”
He nodded. “I won’t let you down.”
“While you two are away, I’m going to find out more from Spencer,” Malcom said.
“Good luck.” Shelia squeezed my hand.
* * *
An awkward silence settled between Alec and I as we traversed the rough terrain. I wasn’t sure how far out he wanted to go, but with each step, we were getting farther from the entrance where I’d sensed Tyler. I was grateful for the distance. Especially since I was about to attempt to spend an entire night in wolf form. I had no idea how my wolf was going to respond. Since returning to human form, she’d made herself scarce.
My connection with my wolf had been tenuous from the start, but I thought things were improving. I should never have involved magic in this mating bond. There was only one way forward and that was through my own grit and determination. I had fought my way out of hell my whole life but in the last few weeks, I’d let go of who I was. I was the girl who spit blood back in the face of my attacker. I wasn’t the type to take a back seat and watch the world pass me by and I needed to reclaim my identity. But this time, I was going to be able to have a chance when I fought back.
“Thanks for helping me with this,” I said, finally breaking the long silence.
“Don’t thank me yet. This isn’t going to be easy,” he said.
“Nothing is ever easy,” I pointed out.
“Not for either of us, that’s for sure.” He stopped walking and looked around.
I took my eyes off him and scanned our surroundings. It was late afternoon, and the shadows were getting longer. The sun had a few more hours of light, but deep in the trees we were already in nearly complete shade.
“Probably as good a place as any to stop.” Alec said.
“We just wait till nightfall, then shift?” I asked.
“We can shift whenever. The concept of a wolf night is about prolonged shifting and maintaining control. It’s usually done at night to use the moon to our benefit. We won’t have that on our side, though.”
“So, we just hold off till sunrise?” I asked.
“You’ll probably run yourself to sleep. But yeah, the point is to hold out as long as you can,” he explained.