37
Mecca
The sky was what I decided to lose myself in, gazing past the fluffy, sun-kissed clouds as Arjen gathered his men. Images of my childhood churned in my mind, some that I had never understood until now. Me, being sung to sleep in Spanish, the voice that had always sounded familiar had now been confirmed. Me, always longing for a face I could never see, but now it was as clear in my mind as if the memories were implanted.
I sensed Silvia’s eyes on me from afar, but I couldn’t deal with her. I had too much to think about, too much to process, too much to choke down and digest.
I climbed into the passenger seat of Arjen’s truck when he opened the door and took my hand to help me inside. He had directed one of his men to drive the SUV I had driven.
When our vehicles began spilling from the tree line, most of them tactical vehicles with machine guns attached to the backs and tops, the sight caused me to glare at my husband. He had truly brought an army, an insane amount of men that were prepared to fight a woman that was as unbothered by their presence than if she were surrounded by her own men. I couldn’t imagine what type of bloodbath would have taken place if I wasn’t a relative.
“This might not be the right time to bring it up, but with your mother being one of the most powerful women in the country, it gives us another ally, and eliminates the Cardenas Cartel as our adversary.”
“You were right, husband. This is not the right time to bring that up.”
My head fell back against the seat once the view of my uncle’s compound disappeared from the rearview mirror. The thick woods that surrounded the area loomed, the waving dark leaves saying their goodbyes.
Arjen’s hand sat secure on my leg, and every once in a while, when I would drift too deeply into my mind, he would squeeze, reminding me that he was there.
I placed my hand softly atop his, absorbing his strength through the touch. With him, I had discovered that I could love and be loved in return. Our connection was the last thing I expected to fall into my life, but he was one of the best things to ever happen to me. It was also the one thing in my life that wasn’t turning out to be a lie. We knew most of the gory details about each other.
“Pull over,” I ordered out of the blue.
A smile creased his face as he eased the truck over without a second thought. The last time I had asked him to pull over, we had ended up ruining his car. Once he had parked, the long line of vehicles in the convoy veered off to the side of the road and did the same. No one exited their vehicles to see why we had stopped, but sat parked and waiting on us.
I climbed across the seat and was in Arjen’s lap within seconds, but neither of us went for the explicit wild sex that was capable of popping up between us. The hot stuff was at the surface of my mind, but I decided to put it on hold to discuss something much more important.
My hand slid across Arjen’s chest and up to his stubbled chin as his heavy gaze met mine. I pointed at his ear.
“Can you turn your earpiece off?”
He did so without dropping his gaze from mine.
“Back there, you said you loved me?”
I needed to know if the presence of death had spurred his words. The infectious smile he flashed me caused one to rise up on my lips.
“For those of us that have never had anything to love other than death, danger, and destruction, we feel it harder, deeper, more intensely than those that have had it all their lives. I would build your dreams with my bare hands to make you happy, Mecca.”
His arms tightened around me. “I love you deep enough to die for you ten times over.”
“I love you too,” I blurted, the words rushing as fast as my beating heart. They were the most meaningful words I had ever spoken to anyone other than Desiree. I assumed I would have trouble saying something so profound, but the truth had spilled free without a doubt.
At my words, Arjen closed his eyes. He appeared to meditate for a moment before a deep smile appeared. The sight of him smiling with his eyes closed, rejoicing on what I had admitted, sank in as deeply as the love he had professed to me.
Forehead to forehead, we sat and breathed each other in, no words, only a buzzing swirl of our emotions, and an outpouring of our affections for each other.
A soft, lingering kiss breathed enough contentment into me to make me forget about the shoot-out, and the instant family I inherited. Arjen eased back, staring into my eyes.
“Mecca, we promised that we would be honest with one another. Will you tell me what Silvia was talking about when she mentioned you never letting it be a disability? What was she talking about?”
I attempted but failed to swallow the damn brick lodged in my throat. Eventually, I would be forced to tell him the secret I had lived with, the one I had managed to keep hidden most of my life.
Although, I would have preferred to have had this conversation in the comfort of our house, Arjen needed to know. It should have been the first thing I revealed to him, but I had never allowed anything to dictate my life.
“You asked me a few times if this necklace held meaning. It does.”
He glanced down at it before returning his gaze back to mine.