Desiree
For three days, I moped around Arjen’s house, my shoulders pulled up to my ears and my eyes bloodshot. He had gifted me with the silent treatment, which was worse than if he were yelling. Other than his plan to go through with our marriage, I had no idea what else he had in store for me. I was certain of one thing though, he would find ways to punish me for sleeping with Khane.
It hadn’t occurred to me until after we were back at his home that I had run to Khane when my life was on the line. I had clung to him for dear life, not realizing that my actions were hurting Arjen and putting more stress on the brothers’ relationship. The feelings I had for Khane were the reason I had fool-heartedly taken off in the first place.
When I had a gun to my head, with the fear of death pounding down on me, it was Khane that I had silently reached for. I was grateful my weakness hadn’t caused my death. I was also grateful that Arjen had chosen to rescue me from the FA, despite mine, and my father’s betrayals.
The connection I had with Khane was irreversible. The feelings couldn’t be threatened away, they couldn’t be chased away by fear, and they couldn’t be banished by punishment. I would always want him because I had chosen him. I had thrown caution to the wind and put my life on the line to be with Khane, and he had done the same for me.
We hadn’t seen each other since the day they had stormed into the FA compound, killed men to rescue me, and struck up some type of deal with Angel Ramirez to get me back.
Now, I sat on the living room couch with Arjen circling like a blood-thirsty shark, waiting to sink his jagged teeth into me. Each time I attempted to apologize or even talk, he would cut me off and continue his incessant pacing.
“Arjen, would you let me talk to you for a few moments? Please.” The words were nothing more than pleading whispers.
“There is nothing we need to discuss. We are getting married tomorrow, leave it at that,” he stated, his tone clipped, and his jaw clenching so hard it could crush a human soul.
Aside from refusing to talk to me, he hadn’t done anything but repeat the time and place we were getting married.
My beautiful dress, shoes, and jewelry had been delivered to my room yesterday, all decided on by him, I supposed. He and Khane weren’t on speaking terms, and I prayed they would eventually find a way to mend their brotherhood. It ate me up inside, knowing that I had caused the only rift I believed the brothers had ever had between them.
I moped. I wallowed in guilt. There wasn’t anything else within my power that I could do. Mecca had called me and made plans to stop by, but with the mess she was dealing with in handling the Black Saints, she had her hands full.
“Arjen.” My voice to cracked. He had taken a seat on the couch with me, but an ocean of space and anger kept us apart. This was the closest we had been since the car and plane ride back from the FA compound.
“I apologize for all the trouble I have caused. Khane didn’t betray your loyalty. Everything is my fault. He kept pushing me away, but I kept pressuring him to be with me. I wouldn’t leave him alone, even when he repeatedly told me how much you meant to him. He. We—” I stammered.
What the hell was I supposed to say? Khane had unknowingly seduced me as much as I believe I had seduced him. How was I supposed to convince Arjen not to take any of his anger out on Khane? His eyes sliced through the air and hit me, freezing me in place, stopping my shaky words.
“The one thing I believed me and my brother would always have between us was loyalty. You’re the first thing that has gotten him to break that loyalty. He told me everything, Desiree, and he wasn’t sorry about any of it.”
His ringing phone stopped his words. While listening to the caller, his gaze lingered heavily on me and had turned stone cold by the time he hung up.
“Guess who is on the way in? He was nice enough to return your things for you.” Arjen’s condescending tone was warranted. He deserved to lash out as often and as long as he wanted.
Although I couldn’t hear him yet, I sensed Khane’s presence getting closer. I pinned my gaze to the floor before I decided it would be best I leave. I scooted to the edge of the couch and prepared to stand at the first sound of his heavy steps.
“Stay right where you are,” Arjen ordered. “You don’t get to run from the mess you made.”
Despite Arjen being in the room with all that anger, I was afraid to see Khane. I was afraid of how I might react to him.
He walked in, carrying my heavy bag instead of rolling it. My desperate gaze raked over the bottom half of him in black cargo pants and dark boots, but I was strong enough not to lift my eyes any further.
Neither he nor Arjen greeted each other, but he didn’t leave. He stood in place after he set my bag down.
Don’t look up. Don’t look up. Don’t look up.
The moment I lifted my gaze, it collided with his. My eyes flooded with tears at the sight of him. The ache of guilt tormented me, but the soul-crushing pain of loss squeezed my heart into dust. I had never wanted anyone the way I wanted Khane. My heart had never cried for another living soul the way it wept for him.
Guilt retook control as I sensed Arjen’s gaze scanning us. I was sure he noticed that even as I sat in a fiery pit of guilt, it still didn’t cut the connection I shared with Khane.
“Are you okay?” Khane asked, his voice low and caring.
“Why the hell are you asking her if she’s okay? Shouldn’t you be asking me?” Arjen’s question had caused me to finally drop my gaze.
“She is in tears, Arjen. Stop being a fucking dick.” Khane spat out his words between clenched teeth. Please don’t let them fight again, I prayed.
Arjen’s chest swelled with overwhelming anger. “I’m being a fucking dick?” His tone was loud and dripping fire. “You’re the one that put those tears there. She’s not crying because of anything that I did. All I ever tried to be was Mr. Nice Guy.”