Khane
Guilt was a motherfucker. It kept me humble as I glared at my brother, who was so filled with raging anger, I saw the rapid pulse of the vein in his forehead flexing. I was in the wrong and therefore deserved his anger.
“I bought and paid for her. She was mine to do with as I pleased!” Arjen shouted words I knew he didn’t mean. Desiree was the only woman he had ever shown an interest in outside of wanting to fuck. His cruel words socked me in the chest, and I prayed Desiree couldn’t hear us.
“She’s a person, Arjen, not an object. And you wouldn’t be this upset if you didn’t, on some level, care about her too.”
“If you knew I cared about her, why the hell would you fuck her? Did she cast a spell on you? Make you lose control of your dick? Take possession of your mind?”
She’d put a spell on me long before he had placed her under my protection, but revealing that information to my brother, at this moment, would only make matters worse.
“I felt like a human being around her and not the animal that I’d become to live this type of life. She made me smile and laugh. Me. For the first time in twenty-eight-years, I allowed myself to experience normal human emotions instead of suppressing them to embrace the clouds of death I’m usually immersed in.”
The unusual words coming from me seemed to take the sting from Arjen’s anger for a short moment until he regained a deep frown of irritation.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do with her now that you’ve devalued her? She’s pretty much worthless now. Sure, we’ve fucked some of the same hoes and sluts, but we knew they were hoes and sluts, hell, they knew they were hoes and sluts. Desiree was supposed to be the one to help me transition into something better than a fucking slut-chasing, bitch-banging, dick-slinging asshole. I used to see her as respectable, now all I’ll see is the woman who fucked my brother.”
The deep creases of hurt I saw on his face ripped at my insides like jagged saw blades. I was sorry on so many levels but wasn’t sure how to express it to him because I’d never done anything before to cause him to aim his anger at me.
“Although your marriage is an arrangement, it doesn’t stop me from being wrong. I’m an asshole for what I did, and for hurting you. Please accept my apology. I’m sorry, Arjen.” His fiery expression conveyed what I could do with my apology.
A massive amount of guilt for hurting Arjen pressed down on me, giving me an instant headache. However, I couldn’t bring myself to regret what I had experienced with Desiree. She was the only thing in my life that I had ever truly wanted.
Arjen had been talking about changing his womanizing ways for years, and although I believed Desiree could have helped him with the change, I knew she would catch hell doing so. In a way, I had treated Arjen like the other men I didn’t want in her life.
I sagged from the weight of my sorrow and guilt, dragging the heavy emotions along as I approached him and fixed my eyes on his deadly gaze.
“I’m sorry, Arjen. I’m a certified asshole. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.”
He shoved me hard, causing me to stumble and bump into the bookshelf. The hard impact caused the heavy books to fall and hit the floor like rolling thunder. A stiff finger was aimed at my face. “Keep your fucking sorry-ass sorry. I don’t want to hear that shit.” He growled so loudly, the vibration from his voice almost scratched a hole in my skin.
Arjen had never aimed that level of anger towards me. His deadly glare was locked tight on mine, his body tensed so tight the protruding veins in his neck had join the one in his forehead.
“The fucking damage is done and can’t be undone. Now, I’m stuck with a bride that has been dirtied up by you. I know you better than anyone. I know what you do to women. You’re the most emotionally unavailable motherfucker I know, yet these stupid-ass women go crazy for your ass, some even having the nerve to approach me to talk you into seeing them again.”
His face pinched as he rolled his shoulders, no doubt fighting to contain his rage. “You fuck them one good time so they’d want to come back. Then, you leave them and never talk to their asses again. I’m hip to your fucking head games, little brother. While everyone thinks you’re this big mystical fucking monster, I know you have male-tripping ego moments like the rest of us.”
He kept his stiff accusing finger aimed at me, his jaw flexing against the anger seeping from his pores and poisoning the air in the room.
“So many times, I have had to sweep away the scraps you left behind because your evil ass didn’t even have the decency to talk to the woman after you had fucked with her head. Now, I’m supposed to marry a woman you’ve fucked, knowing in the back of her mind, she is going to be thinking about you. See, I know the fucking game, because I was the one who taught it to you. It’s a sure fire way to always have a piece of hot ass on standby when and if you want it. Maybe I should sleep with your fiancée, get her ass strung out on my dick, so you know how it feels.”
“Desiree is not that sort of woman. She...” I immediately swallowed the rest of my comment.
“Don’t tell me how she is. It was for me to find out, not you. You…you...motherfucker!”
Bam!
The hard punch connected with my jaw and sent me staggering back and knocking into the desk, causing the heavy wood to grunt and move about a foot from where it sat. My jaw felt like it had been broken in pieces until the pain shot through it and reminded me that it was still connected to my face.
I can’t believe he hit me. The stiff glare I cast his way, cut into him as the force of our rage was set into motion, an invisible cloud of destruction that collided and exploded. The motherfucker had tried to rearrange my face.
The fury that stormed through me was fortified by electricity. Arjen had hit me. He had never hit me before unless it was for a cruel punishment set up by our father. My fists waited, balled at my sides, and when he came with another hard swing, I dodged it and caught him with an uppercut under his chin. He stumbled back, but his face shifted from anger to unfiltered rage.
“I don’t want to fight you, Arjen!” I shouted, pointing at him.
“Too motherfucking late!” He rushed towards me, and I wasn’t quick enough to avoid his attack.
Punch! Uppercut! Spinning Elbow! Slap!