Desiree
We sat, obedient on the living room couch as we awaited Arjen. I had tied myself back into the robe from the spa and a pair of Khane’s oversized shorts. Although exhausted and sore, I had never felt so good. The relaxed state had my eyes heavy in my head and my body slumping into the couch cushions for support.
Guilt reared its ugly head as we waited, making me feel bad about all the sex I’d had with Khane. Arjen didn’t strike me as a man that missed much where it concerned picking up clues and solving puzzles. Therefore, I believed he would detect that his brother and I had enjoyed a heaping helping of each other.
A heavy, lung-emptying sigh left me. The tips of my fingers trailed over his chest before I switched to rubbing up and down his flexing bicep muscle. I was determined to enjoy him for as long as it lasted.
“Khane.”
“Yes,” he answered. His fingertips traced over the hand I had wrapped around his arm.
“We’ve fucked up, haven’t we?”
“Yes, we have,” he replied before leaning in and placing a delicate kiss on my forehead.
“We’re going to have to tell Arjen, aren’t we?”
“Yes.” was all he said.
“Do you regret what we’ve done?” I didn’t, but I was interested to know what he was feeling about the line we had crossed.
He sat my hand over his heart, keeping his hand over mine so that the strong, rhythmic beat thumped against my palm, making my hand pulse like it had become a part of his chest. “You are the reason it beats, Desiree. If I had never met you at that dance six years ago, I’m sure I would have been dead a long time ago.”
Touched, tears welled up in my eyes and I was unable to hold back the flood of emotions his words and actions evoked.
“I have no regrets about anything we’ve done. I feel guilt for the timing and the situation surrounding us, and sorrow for what the decision will do to my brother and our relationship. But, you are the only selfish decision I believe I have ever made, and although it was wrong, it feels right.”
We were a blessing and a curse. A blessing as I experienced what it was like to be with someone I loved. This was the first time I had dropped all of my insecurities and just enjoyed the moment. I now knew how it felt to receive genuine affection and be cherished in a way that would live on for a lifetime.
I reached and lifted Khane’s shirt collar. The scratch marks I had left on his neck and upper back peeked out even in the midst of his tattoos. The passion marks visible on his neck, the scratches on his arms, and his deeply pink kiss-swollen lips, I hoped could be written off as hazards of his job.
I was a different story. I couldn’t get around my sore body, the guilt riding my back, and the ache in my pussy for Khane that just wouldn’t quit. We were in so much fucking trouble, I was starting to fear for my life.
Despite all the turmoil I’d soon be facing, my gaze never dropped away from Khane’s. I laid my face against the couch so that one of my eyes was covered and pressed into the cushion. I wanted to see him the way he saw me.
It didn’t take him long to figure out what I was doing as he positioned himself to lay facing me. This was why I had fallen so hard and fast for Khane. He understood me and chose to share moments like this rather than complain about what we couldn’t have.
We laid there, staring at each other through the same one-eyed view. I remembered him referring to me as beautiful chaos, but I believed that that was what he was for me. The different layers of him formed the most beautiful man I had ever had the privilege of being with. He had a special quality about him that reached in and connected with my innermost thoughts and desires.
Effortlessly, he gave me what I needed by seamlessly brushing away my sadness and nurturing my happiness. How had he done it? How had he gotten so profoundly deep into my system, that the thought of us separating made me sick?
The danger and chaos he was capable of unleashing had been wrapped around his caring spirit and intriguing personality, cloaking that part of him from the rest of the world. The combination, for me, was what made him perfect.
Khane was at the window now, gun at the ready at the sound of approaching vehicles. Within seconds, Arjen was at the door, punching in the code. He marched in and gave his brother a quick hug, but his focus was on me.
The stress crinkling his face intensified my guilt. The concern that tightened his body made me embrace the title of world-class-asshole, now that I was face to face with him.
He took a stooping position in front of me as he glanced into my deceitful face. “We aren’t going to let anything happen to you. We have a couple of teams investigating to figure out who these threats are. For now, I’ll take you home,” he stated. I nodded, unable to speak through my guilt.
“I’ll be over later. We need to talk,” Khane told Arjen, who glanced back, giving his brother a nod.
When Arjen reached out for me, I took his hand and stood, my legs shaky from a combination of nerves, guilt, and being weakened by sex. I needed to tell him what had happened between Khane and me, knowing it may hurt him and praying that he wouldn’t kill us.
Based on what I had gathered about the bond between the brothers, I believed Arjen would kill me and slap Khane’s hand for misbehaving. I was a bundle of corded tension, and Khane was as cool as a snowcapped mountain.
I cast one last glance back at him as I walked out the door beside Arjen. Our eyes met for the briefest second, the pull he had on my senses still strong.
On the ride back to Arjen’s house, I sat as silent as a bump on a log. Of all the things I could focus on, I kept going back to my time with Khane, unable to banish him from my head, even as I struggled with how I would tell Arjen.