Did she not just hear me say how much I enjoyed killing people? She had not mentioned a word to the fact that I had just confessed, in detail, to murder.
I squeezed my forehead in a tight grip with my free hand, and prayed for the strength I needed to get me through the next six days. It was becoming painfully obvious that although Desiree had a delicate appeal, her family ties had hardened her, if not physically, most certainly mentally.
“Will you tell me how you got the name Kannibal?” she asked, nuzzling her head into my shoulder. Those big pretty eyes of hers were sitting there waiting to rip apart my insides. She was making this so hard for me, and I was left with no other choice: fuck her or talk.
“I was fifteen when I got the name. My father used to hold these tournaments of sorts that were similar to the setup of gladiators. They took place in the fields of the big deserted farm he owned. He had gone as far as placing portable stands around the fight area where spectators could look down on us.”
A deep crease of worry ran down the center of her forehead, but she remained silent.
“The events drew large crowds, hundreds who placed bets on who would win, who would break or get something broken, who might kill or be killed. My father forced Arjen and me to fight at each event. The penalty if we lost was two weeks inside a deep, dark, soundless hole he had in the ground. Two weeks in there was enough to eat away at your sanity in the worst possible way. He left me in there for a month once, and it took me just as long to start speaking complete sentences again.”
“What?” She stared, appalled. “Khane, that’s crazy. How could someone get away with something like that in modern society?”
I shrugged. “Money. Power. Being a member of one of the most powerful organizations in the world. Enough of any of those could get a person whatever they wanted. Other fathers in the syndicate seeking to harden their sons would turn them over to my father for training. They didn’t get their same sons back, as my father would ensure he had taken a piece of their minds. They came to him as boys and left as animals. People think it’s me, but my father is the reason the Vallin name is synonymous with animals. It was him who turned Arjen and me into the most vicious kind.
“There is no such thing as freeloading in the organization, as you are accountable for contributing. By eighteen, you are either in sales, management, distribution, or security. My father ignored the age requirements and started training us the day we turned five-years-old.”
A glance down showed her riveted to my every word, her head against my shoulder staring up at me, and her warm body pressing harder into my side. Was I really sitting here telling her about my childhood? I had never let anyone close enough to even ask me about it.
“One time, in a tournament, I was getting beaten. The guy was bigger, a few years older, and he had technique and training on his side. The threat of a harsher punishment to come from my father was the only motivation I had on my side.”
Her body stiffened against mine every time she suspected my words would reveal something harsh. Her eyes were aimed at my face, her mind connected to my every word. “How did you beat him?”
“How do you know I beat him?”
“You found a way,” she said, assured in her confidence of me.
“I did what my father had trained me to do because I knew what he would do if I lost. I knew that if I could get my opponent into a submission hold around his neck or one of his limbs, he would not tap out, so he would either pass out, or I would end up breaking something. I knew this because I wouldn’t have tapped.
“I got him into an arm bar and ended up breaking his arm. He became so enraged that he bit me, clamped onto my wrist and wouldn’t let go. He bit me in an area, that if he had penetrated the skin, it would have severed an artery. I countered with a bite of my own, taking a chunk out of his neck. They started calling me Kannibal because it wasn’t the first time that I had broken someone’s skin with my teeth. I caused such a bloody mess that I thought I had killed him.”
“Did you?” she asked, staring with an awed expression. “Kill him?”
“He never talked right again, but he lived.”
Her face bunched in disgust, but she didn’t move away. “Your father sounds like a real sick son of a bitch.”
Hearing her curse had me fighting to keep my smile from surfacing. “I’ve never met anyone meaner. He cornered the market on evil.”
Thankfully, she eased away from my side, releasing me from the entrancing affect her touch had over me.
“So, what’s going to happen now that there is someone watching me? Will I be confined to the house? What will I have to contribute to the organization since I’m obviously over eighteen?”
“You won’t be confined to the house. I’ll be with you wherever and whenever you want to go. You, don’t have to worry, I won’t let anything happen to you. There is always someone after me and Arjen, but we refuse to hide from life, and we won’t let you hide from it either. When you return to Arjen, he will make your safety a priority. You’ll continue to run your design business. Arjen and I weren’t given a choice because of our father, but you can be whatever you want to be to the organization.”
She stood. She was still way too damn close as her hand slid along my arm. “Thank you, Khane…for looking after me.”
“You’re welcome.” Why the hell did I look up? Now, I was lost, stuck in her gaze. So much care and genuine appreciation rested there. So beautiful, and so incredibly close that her hip was pressed against my left knee. She inched closer, stepping into the V of my legs, rendering me helpless. I had killed, tortured, and destroyed men without emotion, yet I couldn’t pull my gaze away from Desiree to move.
She bent closer, possessing me with her hypnotizing eyes. She was a touch of heaven in this pit of hell I called my life. She was everything good and loving, the purifying drop of water that could fill a desert bathed in heat. She was everything to a man like me, who’d never had anything but a strong motivation to chase death. She reached forward and cradled my face in her hands and inched her lips closer to mine.
“Desiree!” I called out in a harsh rumble before I jumped up like the couch had caught fire, swerving to avoid her.
Although she represented everything good, she was also the most dangerous thing that I had ever encountered, and I doubted she even knew it. She was the kind of danger that made you question who you were, the kind that had you willing to do any and everything for her, the kind that men were willing to start wars over.
My breaths rushed, making my lungs contract and expand, quick and harsh from her getting my fucking nerves and hormones revved up so fast. Something inside wouldn’t even allow me to get upset at her, but I managed to point a daring finger at her.
“No one else in the whole entire fucking universe could get away with all the shit I’ve allowed you to get away with. Touching me. Talking like we are life-long friends. Me keeping you company when you flash me those big pretty eyes. No more. Fuck no. We can’t be that close anymore, Desiree.”