20
Laura
What the hell had I been thinking, acting like a jealous girlfriend at dinner? How could I be attracted to a man? Of all the men I could have been attracted to, why did it have to be Dax?
At the tender age of ten, I’d discovered my love for women after I’d kissed the first girl I’d claimed as my girlfriend. Our relationship lasted only a week, but I knew who I was and had never wavered in my preference.
Now, here I was fifteen years later, questioning who I was because of my attraction to the opposite sex. Not the opposite sex as a whole. I still despised men. But him. Why? The torturous realization caused an involuntary shiver to run through me.
The way he smelled: posh, smooth, and spicy all rolled into one unique scent was as unnerving as it was appealing. He looked interesting, important, and it hurt my mouth to say it, but handsome.
I even appreciated the way he invested in his appearance, always ensuring he looked his best even when he was planning to deliver death. Maybe that was what sparked the attraction. He had no qualms with dispensing death to anyone who stepped to him wrong.
He was the first man I’d witnessed stand up to Kadeem and still breathe. Not only that, Kadeem liked him well enough to open a direct line of communication. Each time he’d be on the phone with Kadeem, his teasing gaze would find me, reminding me of what he’d revealed to me about Kadeem’s motivations where I was concerned.
Was I cheating on who I was because I couldn’t control this stupid-ass attraction? Kendrick Lamar’s voice filled my ears, but my mind screamed louder than his captivating lyrics.
A familiar tone broke through the music and called my attention, and it wasn’t until the third chime I noticed it was my phone ringing. Reluctantly, I swiped my music off and answered, not bothering to ID the caller.
“Hello?”
“Laura, it’s me, Ms. Noreen.” Ms. Noreen Jackson was the grandmother of little Kenneth from the center.
“Is everything okay with Kenneth?” I questioned, my leg already jumping to contain the nervousness that had quickly filled my body. Bev’s eye caught my jittery leg and my phone at my ear. She approached cautiously, taking the seat beside me. D had finally broken away from his laptop to hit the gym. Dax was on the balcony, taking a swim in the perfect water I’d dipped my legs into a few times.
“He’s more than all right. We will be heading to Saint Anthony’s Cancer Treatment Center in San Antonio in a few days. The hospital called and said that they have a spot for Kenny. They want to treat his cancer,” she whispered, losing her voice as it started to crack.
Bev glanced into my face and gripped my hand, misreading my expression. We’d had so many joyless moments in our lives that it was easy to assume that things would go wrong. I placed the phone on speaker so she could hear the rest of Ms. Noreen’s words.
“They want to admit him to the hospital so they can give him the best care. They even have a place for me to stay.” She paused, and a sniff sounded. She was crying, but happy. “Laura, baby, I know you did this for us … I … I….”
Again, her voice faltered, and Beverly must have caught on to what she was saying because she placed her hand over her surprised expression and stared at me with a smiling gaze.
“I can’t thank you enough for helping us. My grandbaby is going to get a chance to beat this cancer because of you,” she expressed. The sheer joy in her tone filled me up and burst my heart wide open.
The peppery ache started behind my eyes as my rusted tear ducts produced a lazy flow of water. I gazed through the floor to ceiling windows that looked out to the balcony and found Dax, moving in the water. He’d done this. He had given a woman and child a dream and most importantly, hope. He hadn’t once mentioned or bragged about it, and I believed he never would.
“You’re welcome, Ms. Noreen. I’m happy for you,” I finally answered her. “However, I can’t take credit because I didn’t do anything. I want you to call me anytime with updates please.”
“I will, baby. And I knew you’d be modest, but thank you just the same. You’ll always be blessed for the things you do for all of us. I love you,” she declared, full-on crying now.
“I love you too, Ms. Noreen. Kiss Kenneth for me,” I requested before clicking off since my tears were on the verge of breaking free and spilling down my cheeks.
Bev and I talked briefly about the wonderful blessing. Once our excitement settled, and I sat quietly reflecting on all that had happened in only four weeks, I shoved Bev’s knee to draw her attention from one of the Housewives’ reality shows she was addicted to.
“I’m going to bed,” I announced before standing.
It was a little after eight, early for my bedtime, but I wanted a moment of alone time to think. My gaze landed on Dax once more, the moonlight revealing only the shadow of his back before I walked up the steps that led to our room.
I scratched my head and decided I’d distract myself by taking out my braids. They were good for another week, but there was only so much gel I could put on my edges before they started fighting back. I fished out my combs and brush and lined the bathroom sink with my shampoo and conditioner.
After changing back into my jeans and T-shirt I’d had on before our outing, I hung up the cute little black dress I’d worn to dinner. I flipped on the large television mounted to the wall, allowing it to act as my usual distraction to get myself through being stuck in this confined space with him.
I plopped down on the edge of the bed, tucked one of my legs underneath me, and began my task. I’d gotten only five of the twenty braids taken down when he strolled into the room. His quiet approach drew my attention when he stepped between the beds and sat on the side of his that was closest to mine.
He must have showered on the balcony because he was fully changed in a plain white T-shirt and black basketball shorts. A warm, fresh scent danced off of him and found its way to me.
He picked up a track of weave I’d taken out and stared at it before glancing up at me. I wanted him to say something crazy so I’d have an excuse to go off on him.