“Here. Try some of this.” He spoons a little bit of honey on top of the next piece and slowly inserts it into my mouth. I might come again just from this cheese alone. When I open my eyes this time, I find him watching me with something like desire playing over his features.
“Why are you being so good to me?” It comes out before I can think to stop it. I don’t even know that I would’ve stopped it if I had known it was coming since I do want to know. It’s driving me sort of crazy, not knowing why he’s going to all this trouble for me.
He looks at me like I’ve sprouted a second head. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because I’m just some person? A girl who happened to ask you for help when she needed it?” Something else hits me, and I don’t like it. “Is it because you feel sorry for me?”
He pauses in the middle of wrapping a slice of prosciutto around half a fig. “Is that what you think? That I’m doing all this because I pity you?”
“Well, I’m sure weirder things have happened.”
He feeds me the fig and prosciutto—again, it’s a revelation, and I want to know where he gets his groceries because I plan on shopping there for the rest of my life—then sighs. “Let me tell you something about myself right now. I don’t do pity. I wasn’t born with that ability. There have been times when I’ve wondered if I was born broken. I don’t feel the kinds of things other people feel.”
I sort of figured that out on my own.
“I mean, I don’t go around abusing animals or anything like that,” he makes sure to tell me. “There isn’t punishment bad enough for the sort of people who do shit like that. When I see anybody getting hurt or taken advantage of by somebody bigger and stronger than them?” He shrugs. “I can't help myself. I have to make them hurt, too.”
“So that’s why you beat him.” I can’t say his name, not now. “Because you saw what he was doing to me, and you knew it was wrong.”
“You sound disappointed.”
Do I? I guess that’s because I am, a little. I don’t know what I expected him to say or what I wanted him to say. I don’t know how I would’ve reacted if he’d said he was in love with me or something like that. “Nobody wants to think of themselves as needing help. At least, I don’t.”
“But you did. And you were smart to come to me. You don’t have anything to worry about anymore, not ever again.” This time, he tears off a piece of bread and smears goat cheese on top. Every bite is more delicious than the last. He is a far more interesting, multilayered person than I would ever have imagined. I wonder if anybody else knows he’s like this.
I wonder how many of them know he’s not above feeding a girl.
Eventually, he eats, too, but only when I told him I’m satisfied, though. Like he wanted to be sure I had everything I wanted before he took his.
He’s just polishing off the last of the cheese when there’s a knock on the door. I look toward the windows, and for the first time, I notice the light outside. Red and blue lights, to be precise. “What the hell is that?” My delicious meal wants to come back up all of a sudden.
Knox’s jaw tightens as he stands. “There’s nothing to worry about.” His voice is flat, even, low—somehow scarier than it would be if he started screaming. “Just relax and stay quiet.”
“But—” He holds up a hand before going to the front door, moving with all the dangerous grace of a panther on the prowl. I know who’ll be on the other side, but that’s not enough to prepare me for the sight of a pair of cops standing on the front stoop.
“Knox Hale, we have a warrant for your arrest.” One of them comes in, holding up a piece of paper, while the other pulls out zip ties. “You’re going to have to come with us.”
“What are the charges?” I blurt out. I know I’m supposed to stay quiet, but I’m tired of being told what to do and how to do it.
“Murder.” The cops barely look at me, too busy with him.
“This is ridiculous! Knox!” I want to get through to him, to at least convince him to spit in their faces. Something. I can’t reach him, so I turn to the cops. “You can’t do this. You can’t just walk into somebody’s house and say you’re arresting them for murder.”
“We absolutely can, young lady. Hence the warrant.” The cop spits it at me, then snarls, and I have to wonder who he thinks I am. Does he think I’m in on something with Knox?
Meanwhile, Knox is deathly quiet the entire time he’s being cuffed and read his rights. It’s just like on television, all of it. He only smirks a little, staring straight ahead while the officers mutter things about him and his family. Obviously, they’re not fans of his.
I open my mouth, prepared to accuse them of taking his family’s history out on him, but Knox meets my gaze and shakes his head. “I’ll be back out in a few hours. Don’t sweat it. Just stay put, okay?” He even winks the instant before he’s led out the door to the car.
How can he be so calm about this? It’s like… oh. Right. Like he’s been through it before. I guess he has.
I haven’t, though. I hate to think of him going through this when he’s been so good to me. I know he has a decent side in there. How am I supposed to live without him if he ends up not being able to make bail? What if bail is never offered?
Just when I thought things were going better. Just when I thought all my troubles were over. Tears are rolling down my cheeks by the time I drop onto the couch.
It takes a second for me to realize my bag is buzzing by the door. My phone. I jump up and grab for it.
And almost throw up.