Payton
This is so weird. But in a nice way.
“I feel like I should offer you guys something to eat or drink.” Why am I so nervous and fluttery inside? Why do I feel like I’m constantly on the verge of giggling? It’s like these two have turned me into somebody I don’t know anymore.
But, somehow, I like her. I like this new person I’ve become because the new me is honest, free, and a bit reckless. No, scratch that, a lot reckless. I mean, who just packs their bags to stay with two guys she barely knows? Not the old Payton, that’s for sure.
I told them my real name, which is still Payton, since I just changed my middle and last name. That part was easy to admit, but telling them about my mom and past was a little harder, but somehow, I felt better after, like a weight had been lifted off my chest.
Most importantly, they didn’t care—if anything, it’s like they’ve dropped their guard even more when they’re around me. Like they were hiding themselves the way I was hiding from them.
Now that they know I’m not a threat, they’re almost easygoing. They joke a lot with each other. Granted, I don’t always get the jokes, but at least it doesn’t seem like they’re on the verge of killing somebody all the time.
“We’ll get something to eat later.” Kane helps himself to a bottle of water from the fridge. When Cash holds up a hand, he tosses a second bottle across the room. “Do you need help getting your stuff together?”
“I don’t have all that much stuff to get together.” That’s not a lie. I make do, just like I’ve always done. Teachers don’t get paid much, after all. There’ve been times when I had to choose between a new pair of shoes and electricity for the month.
A piece of cardboard does wonders in a shoe whose sole is worn through.
I swear, it’s beyond bizarre. These two tied me up yesterday and threatened to take my ass—after taking my virginity—and I’m almost bouncing around. I’d start singing if I had a decent voice. It was one thing to get over Matthew’s death so easily, but this? What does this say about me?
Maybe I need to stop thinking so much. Maybe I have to stop getting in my own way.
It only takes two bags to hold everything I need, and I dig them out from the back of the closet while the twins watch TV on my secondhand set—one of those old models that’s not even a flatscreen. “I didn’t think they made these anymore,” Cash calls out from the next room.
“They don’t.” I laugh. “I found it at a thrift store. It only gets basic channels with the antenna. I couldn’t afford the cable package.”
Meanwhile, they live in virtual luxury. I’ve been enjoying that luxury, and frankly, coming back to my apartment only makes me cringe now. I knew I was poor, of course. I’m not stupid.
But it’s one thing to know something and another to have the evidence right in front of your face. I doubt either of them has ever had to shop at thrift stores, let’s put it that way. I’m not complaining, of course. They’ve been good to me in their way. Now that there aren’t any secrets between us and they know I’m not out to hurt them, they’ve even been sweet.
Though I can’t lie. Being tied up and at their mercy was more than exciting. Even when I wasn’t sure they wouldn’t hurt me. Maybe especially then. I didn’t want to come like I did, but I couldn’t help it. Stopping it would’ve been like deciding I didn’t want to breathe anymore.
“You okay in there?” Kane’s question snaps me out of my daydreaming, and I stuff the rest of my clothes into the second bag while the first holds my makeup and toiletries. He’s impatient, that one. What would he say if I told him he reminds me of some of the kids I teach?
Yeah, I’m going to keep that observation to myself. Something tells me he wouldn’t much appreciate it.
“Just finished up.” I zip the second bag and carry both out to the living room, where the twins jump to their feet and take them from me. Like I can’t carry a couple of bags.
That’s what intrigues me most about them, I think. They’re callous and murderous one second, then sweet and thoughtful the next. They practically fall over each other to help me. It brings my students to mind again, and I really need to stop making that comparison because there are most definitely parts of their personalities that have nothing to do with children.
The thought makes me shiver a little as we go out to the car. It’s a nice shiver, a sexy shiver. They’ve woken up an entire part of me that didn’t exist before, and I don’t know what to do with it.
Something tells me they’d be more than happy to give me instruction if I asked.
When the question of where to have dinner is raised, there’s only one answer. “I’ve been dreaming about that lasagna,” I admit with a laugh. “I mean, wow.”
“Rigatoni’s it is.” Cash takes us there, and this time I don’t care so much about the nervous hostess or the people who eyeball my escorts. It’s strange, but now those looks give me a feeling of confidence. Nobody’s going to mess with us. No chance of a guy grabbing my ass or making a comment on my body.
I know what these two are capable of, and somehow, it makes me more comfortable than before. Nothing makes sense anymore.
What does make sense is this exquisite lasagna, which I eat just as greedily as I did before. “It’s still so good,” I mutter around a mouthful of melted mozzarella. “I’d kill for this recipe.”
“Watch what you say.” Kane waits until I glance up at him before grinning. “People might take you seriously.” My cheeks burn hot, and the two of them chuckle before going back to their food.
“I don’t mean I’d actually—”
“He knows that,” Cash assures me. “So do I.”