“Does everyone always give you what you want?”
He makes the puppy dog eyes with a little pout. “Who could say no to this face?”
I can’t help but laugh. “Okay, fine. You can do the looking up. I’ll crack the whip.”
“Kinky,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.
I turn to the computer, trying to breathe deep and control the blushing. As we work, I pay zero attention to the project. I’m too busy trying not to touch his arm and get electrocuted by the spark between us. Not to notice the way he smells—soap and grass, like he can’t quite wash the football field from himself. After he looks up different articles and sources for a while, he turns suddenly and catches me staring.
I blush and turn away.
“You’re cute as hell,” he says, stretching and flexing his arms behind his head.
Damn his muscles. I blame them for making me stupid.
When I don’t respond, he reaches over and scrunches my ponytail again. “Hey, it’s a compliment.”
“Thanks.” I stare resolutely ahead, cursing my ridiculous crush.
He grins at me, his eyes sparkling. “You can give me one too, if you want.”
“Okay.”
I can barely breathe. I definitely can’t compliment him.
“Come on. You must havesomethinggood to say about me.”
“You’re pretty smart,” I mumble, the first thing that comes to my mind.
“And you’re pretty pretty,” he says, touching my nose with his knuckle. When I raise my eyes to his, that flicker of connection passes between us, a rare glimpse of something below the surface of bravado and brash. Beneath the loudness and antagonism, the boy who screams into the void is still there, not being heard.
I want to hear him.
Before I can say anything, he drags his gaze from mine and runs both hands roughly through his hair, throwing his head back and covering his face. The next second, he’s swinging up from my couch, calling a goodbye over his shoulder, and disappearing as quickly as he did on the beach that night.
Fuck. What just happened?
*
I don’t go to the football game on Friday night. Meghan has plans on Saturday, because of course she already made friends before college classes have even started. I don’t want to miss my chance to hang out with her, and it’s not like anyone really invited me to the game. Chase will be on the field, and Lindsey and her friends are cheerleaders, so they’ll be busy too. And I’m not about to go to a football game and sit in the stands alone.
Meghan and I go down to the dock and sit in the hot September evening, pretending nothing has changed. I don’t begrudge her friends, but the truth is, I’m lonely as hell without her here. She’s my crutch. Without her, I might actually have to talk to other people. And then I might die.
“How’s your mystery man?” she asks, slipping off her sandals and pulling her long skirt up to her knees before sitting down to dangle her feet in the warm water.
“Good,” I say, ducking my head to hide my lip-biting smile.
“Dude, spill. Now.”
“It’s not like that,” I say. “I mean, I don’t really know what it’s like. He came over to study.”
“Ooh, a study date,” she says. “Hot.”
“Shut up,” I say, dipping my feet into the warm water beside hers.
“Nah, I know it’s a big step for you,” she says. “If it’s going too slow, you could just get drunk again and bang him this time.”
“Not funny.”