“But you know who you love more than you hate Royal?” she asks.
I grind my teeth and glare at the side of Maverick’s face. He’s deep in concentration, seemingly unaware of our conversation. “My family,” I mutter at last.
“This is the only way you’re going to save your family, Preston.”
“There might be another way,” I say. “You don’t even know that this will save them. It might just get Devlin killed, too.”
“And if we don’t try, we’ll never know,” she points out. “Maybe you’re helping your cousin, or maybe you’re holding onto this because you want the Dolces to hurt for all they’ve done to you. I get it, but holding onto petty revenges never helped them, and it won’t help you. In the end, you’re just like him—you’re only destroying yourself.”
I clench my teeth together and glare up at the ceiling, the pain of the needle drilling into me. I never expected the girl who lay there as passive as a doll while I fucked her for six months to be the person who finally convinced my stubborn ass to do something about Devlin. I wouldn’t do it if she wasn’t right, but unfortunately, she is.
“Fine,” I grit out at last.
“Good,” she says. “Then let’s bring Crystal home.”
twenty
Harper Apple
“This is going to get us both killed,” Preston says, lifting my suitcase into the bed of his truck. It would make more sense to take my car, but his terms included leaving my phone and car at my house, since he doesn’t believe Royal won’t track me. He even insisted on giving me one of his suitcases, in case Royal somehow bugged the ones he bought for me.
“Maybe,” I admit. “But it’ll save a lot of other lives.”
Preston hesitates, and I think he’s going to say something, but he climbs into the truck without a word. I climb into the passenger seat and buckle in, then flash him a grin. “Let’s do this.”
“You’re not scared?”
I shrug. “Royal may not trust me, but I love him, and I want to do this for him. And for you. There’s literally not one person I care about who won’t be positively affected by this.”
“You think he’s going to trust you once he finds out you’re with me?” he asks, pulling away from the curb and starting down Mill, lined with decrepit little houses until we reach the corner, where an old, abandoned two-story house sits, looking out of place. Its fancy trellises are gauzy with cobwebs, and the white paint is dingy with pollen and mold. The neighborhood kids say it’s haunted, and as we turn the corner, I swear I see a shadow moving inside.
I shiver and turn back to Preston. “Royal will definitely be pissed at first,” I admit. “But it’s what he needs. He forgave me, but it’s not enough. Just like I could choose to forgive him, but I couldn’t have gotten back together with him without all the other stuff. He didn’t ask forgiveness. He proved he loves me and knows what I need. Now it’s my turn.”
“And what happens the next time you piss him off?” Preston asks. “You think he won’t do the exact same thing?”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “He wouldn’t.”
I know that now. I understand Royal, understand the monster that lives inside him. It’s not his enemy. It’s his protector. Once, it was my enemy, but now… Things have shifted. We’re on equal footing now. I am not his plaything. I am his soul. His darkness swallowed me, and I am a part of him. Our broken pieces have been tossed together until there’s no way to tell them apart, until we’re both part of the same whole. And that pile of broken pieces is what the monster protects. It will protect me as it protects Royal. It won’t turn against me, because that would hurt Royal, and the monster is a part of him—the only part that won’t hurt him.
“What if I’m not there to find you?” Preston asks quietly.
“Then I’ll find myself.”
We pass Blue’s old Cutlass heading back toward her house, and a lightness expands inside me. I wish I could take her with me, but of course she’d never leave Olive. But I’m free to leave this town now. I have friends, the privilege to come and go, and a car. I’m going on a trip, all the way to California. I’ve dreamed of this since I hopped a train with Blue the summer I moved next door. It feels so glamorous and daring.
I roll down the window even though it’s cold out, letting the wind whip through my hair. The song by Dixie’s cousin comes on, and I turn it up, thinking it’s a good send-off.
Preston turns onto the ramp for the highway, rolling up my window from the control on his door and jabbing the button to turn the radio off. “Turn that shit off,” he snaps.
“What, we can’t have fun?” I ask. “This’ll be the second time I’ve ever been out of Arkansas.”
“It’s a straight shot on I-40 all the way,” he says. “Twenty-four hours drive. If we drive straight through, we should get there by early afternoon tomorrow.”
“Not quite how I pictured a cross-country road trip, but okay,” I say, rolling my eyes. “I can help drive. And if you want to stop somewhere, we can sleep in the car if you don’t want to get a hotel.”
“Why wouldn’t we get a hotel?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “They’re expensive?”