Preston’s voice is in my head as if he’s in the room with me, and suddenly I can’t breathe. I don’t feel safe in his clean world. I feel suffocated. I bury my face in the pillow and scream. I don’t want him in my head, invading the bed I share with Royal. My limbs start to shake, and I roll over onto my side, breathing through the spiraling thoughts, the panicking pulse rate. After a few minutes, I hear the water shut off.
Fuck Preston Darling.
He doesn’t get to take this away from me. He took what he wanted from me, but I never consented to it. I consent to what Royal does to me. Sometimes I burn with shame while he does it, but I always enjoy it. I always cum—he makes sure of it.
I roll back over, pressing my face to the pillow and shoving my ass into the air almost defiantly. I grip my feet and pull them up to add extra spite to the position.
“Holy hell,” Royal says, emerging from the bathroom in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.
“Was this not what you wanted?” I ask innocently.
“Shut up and don’t move,” he says. “I’m getting a picture.”
I open my mouth to protest, then close it again when I realize how ridiculous that is. Once, I refused to send Royal nudes. But we’re different people now. He’s watched videos of Preston coming in my ass and then sticking it back in my cunt. One more picture isn’t going to make a difference. If he wants to ruin my life, he will. I’ve accepted that, accepted that I’m his to do with as he pleases. If he destroys me, then I’ll live through it or I won’t. But there is no out, and I’ve stopped looking for one.
In truth, I want his claim, his need, his obsession. I love that he can’t let me go, that he moves worlds for me. No one else would go to half the trouble he did for a girl like me, even if they’d done to me what he has. Even if they felt sorry, they’d walk away after the fifth or tenth time I told them to, told them I hated them and they didn’t deserve forgiveness. They would accept that as the truth. Royal knows it’s true, but he doesn’t care. Nothing will stop him from taking what he wants, even when he knows he’s unworthy.
And for reasons I still don’t fully understand, he wants me. I’m not going to throw that away because he hurt me before. Not just because I won’t find it again, but because I want it. I know how lucky I am to be the object of his obsession. I’ve found my way back to myself, and now, I’m finding my way past that, to the person I am with him.
The mattress sinks under his knees as Royal climbs onto the bed behind me. He pushes my knees further apart and lowers the front of his pants just enough to free his cock. Gripping the base, he rubs the hot head up and down my wet slit, coating his tip with my slickness.
I moan and push back, but he grabs my hip, keeping me still from impaling myself on his thick shaft. “I know, Cherry,” he says, his voice thick with desire. “Hold still, just like that.”
I try not to squirm as he slowly drags his bare cock up and down until it’s soaked. Then he pushes forward, sinking just the tip into me.
I bite my lip and sigh with pleasure, gripping my ankles tighter.
“That’s right, my dirty little whore,” he says, pulling out and pressing the slippery head of his cock to my rear entrance. “Tell me who you belong to.”
“You.” I gasp in a breath as he pushes inside the knotted ring of muscle. The stretch stings enough to bring tears to my eyes when he doesn’t prep me, but I don’t move from my position. “I’m yours, Royal,” I say. “Use me however you want.”
He pulls out, pushing into my cunt this time, deeper than before. He grips my hip and slowly slides in until he’s buried to the hilt inside me. His cock is so thick and full inside me I can hardly breathe.
“Oh, I’m going to use you,” he growls. “I’m going to use you like the whore you are. Now show your owner how you can finger that cunt while I pound your ass.”
He strokes my ass, spreading my cheeks wide and pushing his fingers inside while his hips remain motionless, his bare cock still stretching me open to my depths. My walls clench around him, thirsty for more, but he responds by giving me a hard smack on the ass. I yelp and tense up, and he groans, grinding his fingers to their knuckles inside my ass and his cock balls deep inside me at the same time. I wait for him to finish, wincing as he fucks my ass with his fingers, which feels somehow dirtier and more humiliating than when he uses his cock, even if it doesn’t hurt as much.
When I’ve adjusted to his fingers, he pulls back, positioning his cock between my cheeks. I force myself to stay relaxed, not to tense up again. He gives a quick little thrust, breaching my rear entrance and making me cry out. Tears drip from my eyes again, and I bite my lip as he pulls out and then enters me again, groaning as he forces his cock deeper.
“Royal,” I choke out. “It’s too much.”
“Shut up and finger your pussy and take it like a slut.”
He begins to move, working himself deeper while I drop my ankles and obey his commands, sliding a hand under myself. I stroke my clit while he pumps into me until he’s buried to the hilt. Then he shoves me roughly into the bed, bracing one hand on my shoulder blade to hold me pinned as he thrusts into my ass with rough, punishing strokes.
The pain and pleasure spiral through my body, coiling tighter and tighter until I can barely hold myself back. Royal’s hand fists my hair, shoving my cheek into the pillow as he slams into me harder.
“Cum, my little whore,” he growls at me. “Show me how you obey your owner.”
I squeeze my eyes closed and let myself go. My core clenches, and I slide my fingers inside, keeping pressure on my clit as waves of bliss and agony alternate inside me. The orgasm grips me from head to toe as he drives deeper and stills, his hips crushing my ass as his cock pulses, spilling wet heat deep inside me. My brain shuts off, and all I can think isyes.
There’s something freeing in the simplicity of it, in knowing something with such certainty. There’s no fear, no doubt, no room for insecurity. This is forever, so there’s nothing to do but accept it and admit to ourselves it’s what we both want. Being wanted by him, owned by him, even at his worst, is as addictive as it I ever was. I might have gotten clean for a while, but the moment I gave in and fucked him, it was like I’d never stopped. I was off the wagon, and there’s no getting back on. I will revel in this addiction until it kills me. I won’t exorcise my demon. I’ll open my heart and body and invite it to possess me, to fuck me, to decimate my soul until there’s nothing left of it but his claim.
I’m still reeling from the orgasm when a sharp pain slices into my hip from behind. I cry out and try to turn over, but Royal’s hips pin me to the bed. He leans up, dragging a sharp blade through my skin.
“What the fuck?” I cry, starting to struggle. He places his huge palm on my back, holding me flat while he turns the knife, slicing through my skin.
“If anyone’s initials are going on you, they better be mine,” he says, his breathing still labored.