“Don’t take everything at face value,” I say, a little less enthusiastic about finding a boss bitch to hang out with. “You don’t know my life.”
“And you don’t know mine,” she says blandly, stuffing the last of her bagel into her cheek.
I shrug. “You’re right. I’m just here for information, not to make enemies.”
“And yet, you’re friends with Gloria Walton,” she says, pushing back from the table. “See you in class, Dixie.” With that, she turns and walks off.
“Wow,” I say. “Guess I misjudged that one.”
“You know I like everyone,” Dixie says. “But Lo’s been on X-Games mode this year.”
“Her brother just died,” I point out.
“Yeah,” Dixie says. “Hejustdied. We’re a month into school.”
“Maybe something’s been going on with him before that,” I say.
I don’t like being forced to choose sides. I like both these girls. I don’t know Josie from the next bitch, though. Obviously I need to take my own advice and not judge a book by it’s cover. She may look cool, but that doesn’t mean shit. But I know Gloria, and she’s good people.
“Well, Royal ditched her before school started,” Dixie says. “It must have been just between them, though, because the twins are letting her keep her spot for now. But she’s got this new boyfriend she dragged into their crowd, and I’m not sure they’re all happy about it.”
“Ah, right,” I say. “Rylan?”
Dixie nods. “Have you met him?”
“No,” I say with a shrug. “But I’m sure I will. Anything else I should know?”
“Okay, new kids,” she says, glancing around before counting off on her fingers. “There’s Josie, Rylan and his sister Amber, and of course Colt. And the freshmen. I can tell you about them, but I’m probably the only senior who cares about their gossip, since it goes in the blog.”
“Magnolia Darling,” I say. “Anything going on there?”
“She’s one of the populars in their grade,” Dixie says. “I’ve known her for a few years. She’s a sweet girl, but she’s been sheltered, and she’s a little immature. I mean, she’s fourteen, so…”
The warning bell chimes for our day to start, and we both stand. “Thanks,” I say. “Anything else I should know real quick? Ones to watch?”
“Definitely Rylan,” she says, then fills me in on the populars as we walk out. “Cotton’s back and creepy as ever. His dad married Rylan’s mom, so that’s why they’re at this school, and according to my parents, that’s the big gossip with the ladies who lunch. They’re from… Georgia, I think. DeShaun’s dating Eleanor Walton. Everleigh’s been talking to Gideon Delacroix, who’s a sophomore and the only new guy in the Dolces’ inner circle this year. The twins are still manwhores, of course… And I think that’s it.”
“You’re a lifesaver,” I say. “Thank you so much.”
“Any time,” she says. “You made last year’s blog a big hit, so I can’t exactly hold your Dolce dissention against you.”
“I didn’t dissent,” I say, waving as we split off to our different classes, hurrying past Duke and the blonde freshman girl I keep seeing him with.
I can’t help but feel like a bit of a traitor when I talk to Dixie. I should want to destroy the Dolces for what they did, but I can’t quite find it in me to despise them. I know them, and it’s hard to hate someone you know. In truth, I don’t want to put myself in their path again, but I don’t want them to get away with doing that shit to anyone else, either.
I’m not a Darling, though. I’m not on their side any more than I was ever on the Dolces’.
I don’t want to choose a side.
Yes, the Dolces did terrible things to me. But they never pretended to be nice guys, and I can’t pretend I ever thought they were. I knew there would be consequences to getting in with them, and I didn’t just gain their secrets. I betrayed Royal.
I willingly revealed his deepest shame to his enemy. I knew what I was doing. I can’t pretend now that I was innocent just because the consequences were worse than I anticipated.
And the Darlings… Well, it would be easy to say they’re the innocent victims in all this, but I know it’s not so simple. They’re trickier, sneakier, and they play dirtier. Preston saved me, but he didn’t do it out of the kindness of his heart. He saved me to use me against Royal. He sold my shame on the internet to hurt Royal. He dressed me up as their sister, unbeknownst to me, and rubbed it in their faces, trying to use me as a weapon. He let me believe he saved my life that day in the garage. When I thanked him, he didn’t say a word to stop me.
Colt’s done something similar, if far less sinister. He told me his side of the story, the one that makes his family look good. Then he used me to hurt the twins, giving me Mabel’s clothes and letting me parade around in front of them.
They’re all obsessed with destroying each other, and it’s destroying all of them. I’ve already been destroyed. I’m not looking for more.